From here to maternity

I think I can't keep up !

2009-04-23T18:05:00.002+10:00

One can just have enough to do to fill her day, with running around with everyday errands and running a family and a little business, let alone writing two blogs!! . So apologies if I don't update this blog very often. On the other hand though, I will try to write more often on the other blog (www.lollipopbaby.com.au/blog) and consolidate two parts of my life (being a mum and running the business in one story.

So see you there!

Happy Birthday my Lollipop!

2009-03-17T18:48:00.004+11:00

I really forgot to mention this in earlier, but Oliver turned two last Friday! We were going to go to the zoo for his birthday but we rescheduled this until next month when grandma comes and visits us in Easter (my hubby's mum always comes during Easter holiday from New South Wales to see Oliver. We did opened some presents for him on his birthday though (lots of books, animal toys, cars, and things that are very noisy!), and went to visit Scott's bestfriend Wodonga (4 hours drive from Melbourne) for the weekend. The boy is a bit oblivious about his special day though :P. Oliver and I tried to bake some cupcakes prior the weekend but it didn't really work *sigh* I am sooo bad in the kitchen!

baking session

Anyway I took the cupcakes to Wodonga, and Antoinette, the hostess whipped her kitchen equipments and put the icing and decorated our cupcakes single handedly within ten minutes (another hand was used to carry her 6 months old - but I should also mention she has 2 older boys). Don't ask me how she does that.

PS. We drove through a lot of areas affected by fire on the way there and back. Gives me goosebumps seeing those ruins :( Very sad.

Weekend snapshot

2009-03-15T21:16:00.002+11:00

Lovely picture of our lollipop Oliver and my hubby's bestfriends' son when we visited them in Wodonga for the weekend.

25 (random) things about me

2009-02-27T23:09:00.020+11:00

25 Things

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. My real name is not Linda. Holly molly such an ice-breaker! Well it's not like that. My name is Maria Yulinda but I always go by with Linda - since the day I was born. That is what my parents have been calling me all of my life. Though it's not always easy explaining it to people - and sometimes I just can't be bother. In fact I let my now-husband-then-fellow student called me Maria until we started dating.

2. I think I spent too much time studying. I did degrees in International Relations, Marketing and International Business -- only last year I decided that what I really really wanted was to be a graphic designer, so I did another course. Yet when I finished I ended up setting up my own business in baby online shop, specialising in baby t-shirts & onesies with quirky & personalised designs. I do all the designs though. Check it out on http://www.lollipopbaby.com.au (shameless advertising!)

3. My favourite actor is Audrey Hepburn and my favourite movie is My Fair Lady.

4. KFC is my comfort food.

5. I get bored easily. And I am getting a bit bored now....

6. Okay. Focus. I can't hold a tune at all, but my son is the best singer. He started humming twinkle twinkle little star since he was 12 months old. He still can't pull a string of sentence at the age of 23 months but he sings a lot. He opens his mouth the minute he opens his eyes in the morning and closes it when he closes his eyes at night but this note is about me, not about him so -- moving along..

7. I can say "I am sorry, I don't speak (Italian/English/Japanese/Chinese/French/Hebrew) language' in those languages. I said it to an Italian in Rome one night when I was backpacking in Europe, unfortunately he went on and on after that (and no single word was understood by me, since I didn't speak Italian, of course).

8. The most drunk I have been was on New Year's eve 2001. I was in Madrid, at a party of my Spanish friends' friend which I didn't know, passed out on a lounge next to a spew. I have never been drunk like that again in my life. Although it was still the best holiday in my life!

9. I would love to sky-dive and I have been nagging my husband to pay it for me for my birthday/christmas present. He said he'd give me one when he doesn't love me anymore.

10. My current ringtone is 'all the single ladies if you like it you should've put a ring on it o-o-o'

11. When I was quite young I climbed a tree and couldn't come back down.

12. When I was a girl, my hair was so long it reached my waist. I had it cut to bob when I was 13 years old.

13. I taught myself how to create a website -- check it out on http://www.lollipopbaby.com.au (shameless advertising #2)

14. I won the 'social butterfly' award in college.

15. I had my first crush when I was 6 years old.

16. I love my beauty sleep. I still need 9-10 hours sleep every night - doesn't mean I get it these days.

17. I am a coffee snob. My husband and I-- that is. We'd go to a cafe and the coffee has to have a right temperature, right density of milk and right amount of foam. Sounds bad but it's just like someone who doesn't like japanese food or korean food, we just don't like bad coffee.

18. Shamelessly, even though I am a coffee snob, I admit that I can't cook. My secret ingredients are the ready-made-sauces you can get at the supermarket.

19. I used to exercise regularly, at least twice a week.I hadn't really been into it since I was pregnant, but now I am getting back to doing bikram yoga and hoping that it will continue.

20. I love what I am doing but working from home makes me feel lonely sometimes.

21. The first concert I have been to was Jason Donovan. Eeks!

22. My parents live in Indonesia, two of my siblings live in Indonesia, I live in Melbourne, my other brother lives in Sydney and another one lives in Japan. We also have become quite a multicultural family.

23. Is it only 23? Aren't we there yet?

24. I thought Prince William was gorgeous, until he turned 20 and started to look like his father.

25. I have been enjoying wasting my time on this. I love procrastinating!

"the invitation"

2009-02-15T19:51:00.002+11:00

I was a bit grumpy this weekend but this beautiful poem "the invitation' by Oriah Mountain Dreamer puts me into perspective.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

O Come All Ye Faithful

2009-02-13T18:54:00.007+11:00

I am 'lulling' people to sign up for Lollipop Baby newsletter. Starting next month I am going to start randomly throwing some project freebies in our newsletters that you can download and print and use . Most of them would be related to babies, such as gift tags, party invitations, etc, given the nature of Lollipop Baby business. Here is a little teaser on what is going to be in the newsletter next month.

If you like it and would like to get a high resolution pdf of these postcards which you can print and send to your favourite people, you can sign up by clicking here. Don't forget to let your friends know as well!

There are some new baby t-shirts and onesies design on www.lollipopbaby.com.au -- please come and visit!

Happy Valentine's day!

2009-02-13T13:32:00.002+11:00

Hope your day tomorrow is full of love, lots of kisses and hugs! Please spread the love on Valentine's day and release your positive energy. We all are in need for that.

Make a Smilebox greeting

2009-02-10T22:07:00.000+11:00

I was crying in the car this afternoon listening to a montage which a radio put together for the bushfire appeal. People have been calling on phone in their studio all day to pledge money for helping the people affected by the disaster and all those who have been touched by it. They called on behalf of their companies, their organisations, their families, their kids (because when something like this happened, you realised how precious they are)...
Some people called to say thank you for the generosity and that we didn't know how much it meant for them.
Some other people called, crying - telling the audience that the weekend was the worst weekend of their life, and that they saw everything they had disappeared before their eyes - their home, their cars, their family...

My heart just goes out to them. And all the beautiful heroes out there and so many of us who are offering their hands to help. We just don't know how precious our lives are until you get a wake-up-call like it.

Grumpy

2009-02-04T12:16:00.002+11:00

Oliver and I must have gotten up on the wrong side of bed today . It's one of those day when I just want to stay curl up in my bed instead of running after Oliver trying to 1) change nappy 2) put clean t-shirt on 3)put his shoes on etc etc.

He just got very quirky behaviours, that boy is! For one, now if we are going out, he gets very very worked out about it and runs around the house when I try to do all the above. He loves to go out and my theory why he runs around the house naked (and big loud whinge comes with that activity) is that he just can't wait to go out. And the more I chase him the more whinge comes out because obviously, instead of opening the door and step out the house, mum is wasting time by chasing me around!!!

These days he tires me more. His energy just makes me feel so tired. And so old.

In or out?

2009-01-27T22:08:00.005+11:00

It's very hot in Melbourne today (and for the rest of the week -- 40 degrees days are coming!). We stayed home all day mainly because the air conditioner in my car is not working -- I just couldn't do that to Oliver. Whenever we went out in hot days he always came home sweating his face off sitting in the back seat.

I exhausted all my parenting skills and creativity by the time my husband got home. Funny enough. I remember reading something somewhere only last week about there are two types of parents. One who likes to go out with their children because they think it's a hard work to keep them amused for the whole 10 hours their children up, and one who likes to stay home - and happy to stay home and keep their children busy at home.

I never really thought about it but I think I must be fallen in the first category. Before Oliver was born, I used to get bored all the time if I have to stay home. I love going out. I love seeing things. Even if I ended up just going to the mall to kill time.

Then Oliver came along. And it is so much easier to stay home sometimes. Not having to worry about what snacks to bring, or try to work around his mealtimes and naptimes. Nor have to worry about keep him well behave and not running off the street when we are going for a walk or pulling things on the shelves at the shops.

But the problem with that is, off course, trying to keep him happy and content for the whole day. I found that if I stayed home all day, I started ignoring him by doing my work at the computer. Having only set up my online business, I spend so much time in front of the computer - I always try to steal some time to work when he's up, although he doesn't always let me.

So that's why we go out. When we are at the park or at the music class or any other activities, I am all his. No distraction. No computer (I can't really work with him around anyway), no dishes to wash, no clothes to dry (yay! I like this arangement *cheeky smile*)

And he is happy. And I am happy too because I don't steal my time with him. And he'd go to sleep happily. And then I can sit here and work on my computer. Or facebooking. Or blogging for that matter.

Have a look at my works on www.lollipopbaby.com.au

O at the park

...and we're back!!

2009-01-24T14:43:00.003+11:00

After about ehmm six months of a little glitch, we're back in business (meaning I am back in doing the blog!)

I am blaming it to, of course, motherhood and a growing toddler and growing needs (and growing tantrums I should add).

Over the past year I've finished my graphic design course and proudly started my own business. After months of works in designing the website, it's gone online 'officially' early this month on http://www.lollipopbaby.com.au

Lollipop Baby label offers baby t-shirts and onesies with quirky and personalised designs. As I was telling people I'd like to think of my designs as 'sweet and colourful' as lollipops yet funny and quirky as our babies can be from time to time.
I was having so much fun designing these designs and hoping everyone else woud find them exciting too! *finger crossed*.

As with Oliver, he is growing like a speedy bullet. He's a delight with his cheeky attitude and antiques, and there isn't any dull moment with him. Here's a sneak preview!

teletubby in the backyard

2008-05-29T12:30:00.002+10:00

Baking with Mama

2008-05-29T12:07:00.005+10:00

Now that I have got my replacement camera and finally my new laptop, you'd think I would update my blog and website more regularly, right? Wroooong.. as i am too busy to be a mother of a toddler who (officially) toddles like a teletubby now (and needs 24-7 supervision) and also too busy playing around with my new toys.

My husband gave me the 'bla bla bla' last night and I told him there wasn't any point to update them anymore since no one really looking and he said no one really looks because it has been rarely updated. Yeah right.. which comes first, chicken or eggs?? Hehehe..

Anyway.. Am working on the website updates. Will let you know when it's done.

2008-04-24T11:50:00.003+10:00

been wanting to get an ornamental Buddha for the pole at the backyard - found the perfect one!

ATTITUDE!!! (alias kelakuaaan...)

2008-04-23T18:38:00.004+10:00

"never again" always came out from my mouth after outing with Oliver but mostly after we go shopping. What a stressful time!
Today not only he refused to sit on the stroller (which is an old story), but he also insisted on pushing his stroller (so I pushed from the top and he pushed from lower - he only walks like this, hasn't been able to walk unassisted but I have to admire his persistence!) and refused to be taken away from it, but then ran away when he saw toy section at Myer, and started pulling all toys with wheels (and imitating the 'brrrr' 'brrrr' sound as things falling out of the shelves!!). Isn't he growing!

Olivers twist

2008-04-09T19:05:00.007+10:00

*My sitemeter reports every week show that quite a few people visited my blog every week. Which is intriging , given that I have not updated it as often as I should -the visits might have been more random than not. Anyway so I thought I should make more effort, so well, I hope I keep it up :D*

Had yumcha this morning and saw this very tiny baby in her capsule and thought about the first time we took Oliver to yumcha. He was only 4 weeks old and we put him in his capsule on the floor in the corner of the room. I remember thinking that I had conscience about putting him on the floor . Now I sometimes wish that he was that young again and we could just put him in the capsule and we could enjoy our meals!!

Oliver knocks on the door when he wants to get in now. He also waves bye bye, points at planes flying in the sky, plays car toys like a big boy (pushing it along the floor and making the brrrr brrrr noise), BUT he also started to throw tantrums, throwing everything off the table (not good when this involves food), not wanting to sit still in his stroller, throwing things away (have I mentioned this??) and waiting for me to pick it up so he can throw it away again, and if I refuse to do it he would try to jump off wherever he is in, either it was the high chair or his stroller..

How I wish they come with a manual! The thing about being informed (as you do nowadays with the abundance of imformations) is that the more you know, the more paranoid you are about something.
Last saturday we had dinner at Scott's colleague's place. They have 2 kids - the eldest one, three and a half years old, apparently suffers food intolerance. 1 in 4 children in Australia apparently has food intolerance in some degree but the only way to find this out is by elimination diet - which is a bit tricky and require a lot of commitment (as if you haven't got enough on your hands!). Predictably, we went home convinced that Oliver must have had some kind of food intolerance.

Enough about Oliver.

Started my graphic design course this week and guess what - not only I was the only girl in the group of 5, but I was also the oldest by far (one of them is still on year 11!)! Our first module is drawing, and when the tutor asked if anyone liked to draw, there were only 4 who raised hands. Guess who didn't!
So far so good though, even though I have to say we are only on the stage of drawing perspective - not sure what's going to happen when we start drawing objects & humans.

That's it for now. I've got some hilarious videos of Oliver to be posted so keep watching this space!!

Favourite thing

2008-03-07T08:50:00.004+11:00

blast from the past - oct 07

My hubby: "Do you know what my favourite thing in the world is?"
Me: "Me??"
My hubby: "Close enough (grrrrh). it's the sound of Oliver's laugh "

isn't it sweet??

one for the boys!

2008-03-06T17:27:00.001+11:00

Mooloolaba blast

2008-03-06T14:49:00.007+11:00

We just had a nice holiday in Queensland. Two weeks in the sun. And beach. And water. Oliver got cold and had snotty nose all the time (still do) but doesn't seem to bother him. He & dad spent a lot of time in the surf, also playing with the sand (and eating it). Mama & Dad got to have great coffee at the cafes within walking distance from the apartment, and went out a few nights while letting Oliver fall asleep in his stroller. Poppy & Nanny even came and visited for a night and we had very nice meals at the restaurant in the marina - best calamari I have ever tasted. Judith & David, our friends from NZ who now live in Qld also came and visited for a night. Had a very delicious Tibetan dish for dinner.
The apartment Scott rented at Mooloolaba is on the 7th floor, overlooking water everywhere. It is so closed to the water that I had trouble sleeping the first few nights because the surf was so noisy (Hehe.. you think it's funny but the surf was very rough those nights it felt like tsunami blazing from the window and louder it was because our bed was facing the ocean and we slept with the window open). On the third day I nagged Scott to find me a chemist so I could buy earplugs :P -- I didn't use them though, I swear! Not to mention that Qld refused day light saving which means sun is up at 4.30am and they use the skimpiest materials for the blinds & curtains that they don't even block any light. What's the point, guys!!

pictures pictures pictures

2008-01-22T20:20:00.000+11:00

Apologize for being slack - very busy months we had last couple of months. With Oliver's first Christmas and Oliver's christening and travelling to Orange (9 hours drive, try that with a 9 month old!), and meeting the whole Bradleys family for the first time and having my mum & dad came from Jakarta, my brother & girlfriend from Japan and my other brother from Sydney, who would have time to sit in front of the computer and updating this space.

Anyhow, so much things happened, as I mentioned before, with first Xmas (Santa did come to our house!) and big Christening celebration and so on and so on... I can only tease you with the pictures for a time being before come up with the whole story - eventually!

Enjoy!
http://home.exetel.com.au/bradley/baby_album/my_pictures.html

Where is Oli?

2007-12-14T11:26:00.000+11:00

Well, you might like to click it bigger to see if you can find Oli :P

Also, we took this video this morning and it's just too good and too hilarious not to share. While we are on the topic of sharing, the ninth month album has been uploaded on the website: http://home.exetel.com.au/bradley on the baby album.

Baby einstein

2007-12-07T10:19:00.000+11:00

This is our little buddha enjoying baby einstein dvd. This phenomena has only started a few weeks ago, during which I put him in front of the TV because I was just so tired seeing him jumping up and down and climbing and crawling - and there is no way I could get him to sit for 5 minutes although you can tell he really needed it.

I have heard so much praise about this baby Einstein. Lots of mothers swear by it, not so much because of its educational claim, but they are saying that the only time they get time-off is when they put the babies in front of the television to watch it. I heard some mothers said that their babies eyes are fixed to the television and not moving an inch when it's on.

New research actually shows that all these development & educational dvds do not making the babies smarter. No surprise to me. I personally think it is a waste of money and the dvds look so much like brainwashing that it makes me sick. The idea of the Baby einstein was to tell a story from a baby's point of view, plain and simple. Interactive puppets and images of toys, children, and other everyday objects comprise the basic format of these videos, which are set to the sounds of classical music. Hence the metronome ticking for half a minute, a cow moo-ing for another half a minute, a ball rolling back & forth for another half, water rippling for another half... you get the point. And it all was produced in the low-budget style production. I was happy that Oliver wasn't interested in it

So all the dvds that I bought because I was lured by other mother's testimonial, and the classical music cds which is said to stimulate their little brains were a waste of money for us. But then all of the sudden it changed. We were driving in the car for quite some times and he started to whinge, as he does when he is a bit buggered, so I put the Baby Einstein lullaby on -- all of the sudden he got mesmerised and got those dreamy eyes and bingo - he was asleep!! We tried it on again on different occasions and it was like magic.

So I put on the dvd just to test it. And voila.. amazing.. he stopped whatever he was doing, and sat still for the whole show. Which is very unusually him.

The funny thing is that Cara, the little girl from the mothers club apparently has been enjoying the baby einstein since she was 4 months old, while Oliver only just picked it up. How bizzare, maybe this really shows that boys brains develop slower than girls!

The Undomestic Goddess

2007-12-06T15:45:00.000+11:00

The big tree in our backyard was loaded with beautiful yellow orange fruit, come in cluster and tastes nice and tarty like apricot. After a few trial and errors and no one got poisoned, we found out it was loquat. According to our research, firm, slightly immature fruits are best for making pies or tarts. The fruits are also commonly used to make jam, jelly and chutney, and are delicious poached in light syrup. Loquats can also be used to make wine.

Wazza thought that we should make jam and I felt compelled in doing it, because they just got rotten in the tree otherwise. But let me make it clear from the start, I never thought it was a good idea. And it turned out to be the most ambitious project I have the whole year. Obviously, my kitchen brain is not as big as my kitchen bravery. And believe me, I haven't got any satisfaction in doing it.

Right. So, first of all, we need to find out how to make a jam. Hmm.. mr. google makes it sound easy, just boil the fruit til it's very soft, add some sugar and the pectin -hang on, what? With a little assistance from mr google (how did we survive without internet?), we revealed that we can purchase the thing (it's a thickening agent actually, for the jam) at the groceries stores. Piece of cake. I couldn't find any jam jar anywhere but it's not a biggie either, I could always use old jars in the pantry, only need to sterilise it before putting the jam in (this part sounded a bit tricky as a matter of fact).

You would not believe how much sugar is needed for a jar of jam! I bought a package of 1 kg sugar, thinking that this would be plenty.But the recipe said 2.5 kilograms!! Eeeek.. My creative mind decided to portion down the recipe - this and the fact that pitting 1.5 kg of loquat (according to the recipe) took forever.

3 hours of boiling the fruit later, they are still not soft and Oliver and I had to go to our gymbaroo session. Oh well, the jam can wait...

As soon as we got back from gymbaroo, I picked it up where I left off . But during the period where the recipe said : "bring to boil vigorously and stir occasionally for 5-10 minutes" Oliver woke up and screamed on the top of his lungs! so there you go, no stirring occasionally.

The jam turned out to have too thick consistency, taste too sugary (and I only used half of the sugar!) and... smells like chicken stock (Mppph... this is because I used the jar that I previously used for chicken stock).

Now update on the boy. He's turning into little rebel - and not even a teenager yet! changing nappy is fighting session now, so is bedtime. Rianti said there are times where you need to wave the white flag and admit defeated, but in my opinion, there are times that you need to be 'stepmother' and these are the times. Doesn't really work though, he still gets his way most of the time.

helping mama with the laundry? I don't think so.

Eighth Month

2007-11-19T13:54:00.001+11:00

Eighth month pictures are up on the web.

http://home.exetel.com.au/bradley/ or click the link on the right hand side and go to baby album.

In the meantime I am going to be scorching in this ozone hole where the temperature is currently 37 degrees!

Eat my shorts!

2007-11-18T09:45:00.000+11:00

doing the bart.

Next Australias Top Model

2007-11-09T17:05:00.000+11:00

Ok. I admit it. This modelling thing is -of course- my obsession and Oliver doesn't give rats bum at all. And that I, have had worked for ad agency should have known better and be ashamed about doing it. But in my defence, being an ex- advertising executive, I would be the one who take it least personally if Oliver doesn't get any casting or booking. We just wanted to know if anyone else think Oliver is as cute as we think he is. We just need to know if he's wanted :P.

So. He got his first job after his first casting for Target catalogue. Everyone was confident that he would be his happy-self during the photo session. But of course we were wrong!

Little Buddha was grumpy the whole photosession that he only got to pose for 2 outfits (being the biggest baby in there didn't really help either when most of their outfits were size 000). The first outfit required the baby to sit up right so they can show the front, but he just wanted to crawl. The second outfit has special feature at the back so they actually wanted Oliver to crawl away and show his bum but seriously I am sure they didn't even have a single shot where Oliver was not grumpy. Not to mention dribbling!

When we're done, the photographer then dismissed Oliver "you can go now. Go.."

Well we know who is not going to be the next Australias Top Model!!

Life as a SUBURBAN wife/mother

2007-11-07T09:56:00.000+11:00

Here I am. Officially a suburban wife/mother now since we moved into the suburb (at least it is our own home now). My to-do list today includes washing-hanging-folding clothes, cleaning the bathrooms, paying bills (should be doing it now instead of blogging), groceries shopping (maybe), vacuuming the carpet (as if that will happen!) yet I am standing here playing internet (not even sitting down because the telephone cable is not long enough to connect to the computer if I put it on the dining table - just because we still haven't organised the broadband connection and still using prepaid internet), because this is the only time I can check my emails and updating my overdue blog (so overdue that probably no one will ever read this entry because everyone stops visiting this blog).

Ok. Where to start.

Oliver & Moving House

Just my luck of course. As you would expect, during the busy period that I had to do most of the packing, my little Buddha had:

his first cold, for about a week he got very cranky with runny nose and didn't sleep well at night.
3 top teeth popped out - and before that he was just as grizzly as a bear. He bites and bites now (ouch) - andhis breastfeeding days are numbered now.
started crawling 3 days before we actually moving!! (Those boxes and stuff everywhere must have been such good incentives to move). Michelle from my mothers club had actually predicted that he'd be an early crawler but I was hoping she was wrong.. I went to the library last week for baby nursery rhyme time and sat in front of these two mothers who were having conversations about their boys who started to crawl about 2 weeks before - when they were 10 months old. 10 months old! Not 7 months and a few days!

Fortunately he didn't seem to have any difficulties settling into the new place (despite that his room is bright orange! - we can't afford painting the house yet), if anything he has bigger space to roam about, although I am still not happy when he ventures to our kitchen and starts licking the refrigerator.
Now he wants to stand up all the time and who would've thought looking after him standing up if even bigger job than when he only crawls? Even his cot is not a safe place anymore, as he would stand up on his cot and rattles the gate and falls on his back, hitting his head on the end of the cot.

He is a little joy that boy is. He starts to show recognition to people (but still doesn't mind having a stranger nurse him, oh dear!). He slightly prefers dad when he wakes up (when dad is around). The other day I picked him up from his cot after his nap, he just cried and cried until he saw Daddy, straight away smiled and jumped in the air. I told Scott that "I think he prefers you" and Scott said, "don't be silly" and the moment he walked out from the room, Oliver just cried again. He was happy in Daddy's arms and I think that was just to cutest and sweetest thing.

He also shows preference to sleep on his side or tummy when he sleeps. This wouldn't matter so much (since he's almost 8 months old) if he only knows how to roll back to his back. Yup - the little Buddha is capable of crawling and standing up but NOT to roll back. We have been woken up by him in the middle of the night because he found himself on his tummy and not able to roll back. I think he needs to learn about priority!

The house & the neighbours

We managed to unpacked most of the boxes apart from the books and stuff that meant to go on the walls. The previous owners have penchant for colours and as the result we have blue, yellow, green, orange and pink walls!! We are hoping that we can have the house painted before Christmas but wiith all the expenses that had accrued the past month it probably won't be happening.

Being a family-oriented neighbourhood, we are surrounded by friendly ones. One that I must note though, is this lovely girl who lives two doors away, Aly, with her best friend Keely. They came out to say hi to us the weekend after we moved in, and we introduced them to Oliver.
Keely: "Where is Oliver going to school?"
Scott" "Mmmph.. I don't know. We still have plenty of time to think about it"
Aly: "Look at his hair" (Oliver's hair just grows out of control at the moment, he looks like Krusty the Clown)
Scott: "yeah.. he's a punk"
Keely: "He's going to be so popular at school!!"

They put a note at our door one afternoon offering their service to be baby sitters or do job around the house (five dollars an hour and when they came and visited they said they will donate some of it to the cancer foundation and some other charity foundations. Scott said they will need to charge more if they are going to donate some of their fee). I told them Oliver is too young and that they will get nervous if they are to look after the baby and Keely said "We will just have to ring you every so often!".

The thing is.. we might be too nice to them and they have been at our door all the time now. They came to visit 4 times the last 24 hours, twice we sent them home saying we were on the way out and last one we didn't answer the door. Help!! We are being stalked by 10 years olds!!!

2007-09-25T22:23:00.000+10:00

Saturday morning - 7 am. Oliver's in his bedroom, whinging. Scott and I were fighting about who should get up and let him play on his rug. He had been awake since 6am, we fed him, hoping that he would sleep a bit longer in our bed (he didn't), put him back to his bed (twice),brought him back to our bed (still whingy) - nothing happened, he's just ready to get up and play.

Here we are, 6 months down the road - Boy how difference our life is now.

It's a change of the lifestyle and although I should say it's all worth it, I miss some things. Like the luxury of sleeping in (who doesn't?). But seriously, I looove my beauty sleeps. Actually I just don't love sleeping in, I need it. I need it to function normal. Haven't had that in 6 months. Funny how I was given tips to sleep in a lot during pregnancy, because you wouldn't be able to do it anymore once the baby's born. I did sleep in alot before Oliver is born, but that was then, now I WANT my beauty sleeps again!

Not being able to go out often anymore is fine with us - we're enjoying our time as family. Can't believe this - hold your breath I am going to say something very cliche: He is our joy and watching him grow brings smile on our faces.

I keep thinking that their development is like preprogrammed - first smile by 6 weeks, learning to coordinate hands at 3 months, babble at 4 months etc etc. Oliver's new skill is faking coughs. He's been doing it for days now and he will respond to your cough by coughing back to you. Cute.

We are still learning. Lots of trial and error and I hate that we sometimes do not realise that we are making errors. And when the pennies finally dropped, the guilt trips taken tolls.."Why didn't I think of that before?" "My poor baby.. can't believe I did it to him before for so long...".

Anyway - as someone said, having a baby means you need to get ready to change your lifestyle. If you're not willing to, then you shouldn't have a baby! Oh.. so true...

Oliver & Sign Language

2007-09-21T15:28:00.000+10:00

I swear to God Oliver gave me sign to 'milk' this morning. I made attempt to get him to sign to me, and he looked at me tentatively, and really, seriously, I was pretty sure that he did. Scott was in bed also with us and he even noticed it. How exciting!!

Hehe.

Of course I don't know if he really did. Later on today I thought he was tired, but hey, is he making that sign again? Is he tired.. or is he actually hungry?

Like playing charade again. Gave him sign of milk, and I thought he was smiling at me so I got up and got the bottle ready. Got back to Oli and he was happy on his tummy, so I thought.. well, maybe I was wrong. And then he got cranky again.. you get the point. And I fed him and fed him and fed him.. A lot!

Oh all these confusions..

I was like an obsessed mother who kept signing "do you want MILK?" when there isn't any milk around. And even though he might have been giving him 'milk' sign I am pretty sure that he's as confused as me now :P

Yikes!

2007-09-18T09:46:00.000+10:00

Parents pressure

2007-08-30T21:22:00.000+10:00

Started to wean Oliver a bit so he is not completely on breastmilk - I figured it would be better to get him used to this before introducing solids, and guess what.... he's a muuuch more happier baby now, more content, less grumpy, naps are even better. I feel sad thinking that he must have been hungry (well maybe not exactly hungry, just not quite enough) all this time.

On that note though, I still am not very excited about the idea of solids. I know we have to do it sooner rather than later (he is turning 6 months old in about a week), but to think about the mess, the extra work, extra effort to introduce it to him... mmpppph (blowing raspberry like Oliver's new skill) it sounds soo complicated and I'd love to keep it this simple (although still not as simple as just giving breastmilk) for as long as I could!!!

Oooh.. the pressure of being a mother, the pressure of trying to give the best for your child. Yesterday Scott showed me a picture of this couple's baby looked happy and was having so much fun in a kindergym session. Hang on... What is it? Why is our baby not doing it? Does this mean that I didn't "help (your) child to maximize their learning potential ' since "the activities at the centre are not designed to speed up development but are to ensure that each baby/child gains full benefit from each developmental stage" (according to the website)? But we were already planning to enroll him to a swimming school and in my BC (Before Child) years, I promised I was not going to bombard my child with so many extra curricular that he probably would not enjoy anyway -but here I am considering doing everything at the same time and he's not even 6 months old yet.

Is this parents pressure - to make sure that your baby can have 'the best start in life'? Before I had a child I thought some parents just trying to get their children to do what they (the parents) want them to do, not what the children really want to do, but now I actually get it - you are doing it for your child. You are actually worried that you are not giving them enough learning experience, you are worried that they might be an outcast if they didn't do what the others did, that their developments might be behind other kids, in the nutshell - "not giving them the best start in life".

Question is: Is it true? Is it worth it? Is it really necessary or is it really there is a time for everything?

Anyway - too much thinking. My head is spinning.

Suburban CEO

2007-08-27T11:16:00.000+10:00

Are you...

Staying home with kids but thinking about going back to work to save your sanity?
Feeling self-conscious when talking to friends who have careers?
Tired of going to lackluster, boring playgroups just to pass the time?

This site is for you!

Hmm.. I haven't really had time to read it but someone recommended this website to read: http://www.suburbanceo.com/.

It says... This site is for every woman who wants to stay at home with her children but has had to reluctantly admit that she often feels frazzled, overwhelmed and not totally fulfilled. This site will help you identify the five missing pieces from modern life as an at-home mom and become CEO of your own life. By doing this you'll be able to:
Make staying at home with kids as intellectually challenging (and far more rewarding) than any career.
Build a better social network than any of your working friends.
Take your house from quiet isolation to being a thriving hub of activity.
Set aside your resume: "having it all" does not necessarily mean having a job!

Hmm... might be interesting!!! I'll post more once I have time to gulp down the content -although please please don't assume that I am not enjoying being a stay at home mum.

On the Bradleys' news front, we had a busy week. Scott had been swamped with work - always always busy these days. Weekends are not good for relaxing either since we've been busy doing a lot of house inspections with a view to buy. Not very good prospect though, you can be sure that if we like something that we see, we won't be able to afford it. I know beggars can't be choosers but boy we're soo picky!! If only extra $$$$ can fall from the sky!!

Grandma came over from Orange for the weekend. Of course our little boy was a monster the whole time Grandma was here, and turned back to angel when she left. Lucky for us that she's biased hehe.. As always, Oliver doesn't know the concept of strangers. No stranger anxiety when meeting Grandma although last time he saw him he was only 2 weeks old - if someone decided to kidnap him, there wouldn't be any need to lure him with anything (touch wood). Mummy enjoyed having moments where she could hand Oli over to Gran for a few days.

The weather in Melbourne has been soo gorgeous - it is suprisingly 25 degrees today. I decided to take the little monster for his little excursion to the beach. He couldn't care less though *grin*, fell asleep all the way in the stroller.When he woke up and I put him on my lap but he was more interested in looking at his toes than the ocean and when I stood him up on the sand he was just as ignorant. This is really the case of a parent that is ready to show the world to the baby, only to be put off.

new pics

2007-08-16T20:11:00.000+10:00

Little monster has been keeping me busy currently to get me going on the blog. But fifth month pics & a movie file have been uploaded on the website if youse all interested on http://home.exetel.com.au/bradley/baby_album/my_pictures.html

Oh no!

2007-08-02T19:44:00.000+10:00

We spotted the second tooth popping out from Oli's gum! Maybe just didn't realise it before...

Early teether!

2007-07-31T17:00:00.000+10:00

Here you go!
Felt something sharp in his mouth when he bit me yesterday, only to find a little pearl popping out from his gum.

Went to the pharmacy to get teething gel, just in case, and got confirmation from the pharmacist when she saw Oli's gum. And she said, "My boy didn't get it until 12 months!"

It's a day of neverending screams today.

Fly me to the moon - Oli's first big trip

2007-07-23T09:53:00.000+10:00

Mummy's diary

21 Jul 07

(Lesson #1: Do not pack at the last minute to avoid overpacking (baby's stuff) and/or underpacking (mummy's))

We're taking the 2pm flight to Queensland. I knew I should have packed at least the night before but that would be unusual of me to do that. It was just unbelievable but there was so much to do! I was so busy that I literally didnt have enough time to sit down and had my breakfast before we left. I wasn't sure what he needed, couldn't make up my mind on what to bring - I ended up prety much taking almost the whole nursery. Packing for him took forever and I just threw some of my stuff in the suitcase at the end of it. In the end, the only thing I probably didn't bring was his cot.

(Lesson #2 - for daddy: Do not say "What would you do if we leave early this morning instead of the 2 o'clock flight?" while you're sitting down having a nice cup of coffee and your breakfast while your wife is running around getting things organised for YOUR boy. It is not very nice and your wife might not want to talk to you for the rest of the day.)

Milestone #1 : Oli tried to sit up without support in the morning on his rocker after breakfast

The flight was suprisingly quite easy - though it would be a different story if it was 5 or six hours flight. The passenger sat next to us moved to another row so we had next seat empty - very very helpful. Oli couldn't get comfortable to sleep but no problem with his ears during take off/landing.

We got our rented car - v annoyed because instead of the baby capsule we got a child seat, facing forward instead of rear facing. Aaargh.. Have to put rolled rug to support Oli's head and sit at the back to make sure he's ok. It is secured in the middle seat so Oli just staired right at the road and too fascinated to fall asleep even though I know he's very tired.

Arrived at poppy Bradley's at 6pm - Uncle Bob & Aunty Carol were there too. Oli went to bed straight away,thinking we should give him a power nap before he said hello to everyone, but we ended up letting him sleep until the morning. Too bad that uncle Bob & aunty Carol didn't even get to say hi!

22Jul

For lunch today we have: Daryl & Ann, poppy's best friends, Karen (Scott's sister) and Shawn & the kids, Paul (nanna Marg's son) and Janelle & the kids -rrrr... that's 15 of us. What a nerveracking time !

Just couldn't believe though that Oli actually had good naps all day, wasn't even bothered by the noise or overstimulated by the crowds. Phew.

Milestone #2: first tickle giggle - not with me or dad, but uncle Shawn.

23 Jul

yawn. Oli woke up twice this morning. Suspecting teething as he began to pull his ears as well as drooling (a garden sprinkler, Scott calls him).

24 Jul

Mummy & Oli went for a walk to the conservatory, looked like a jungle that we turned home halfway.

We went out for dinner with Murray & Marg (poppy and nanna) - the first time! Yay. He slept the whole time. Looks like we'll be having more dinner out from now on!

25 Jul

Oli and mummy were just having a boring day at poppy's place. At least mummy's got her new Harry Potter book. Not reading it as fast as I like though.

26 Jul

Scott's working from home. But Oli and I were going out with Janelle, sister in law, Paul's (Marg's son) wife. Went to the movie - not a baby session though, so when Oli started to get uncomfortable and started to make noise, I got so nervous. Had to put him down in his stroller and move him back & forth while watching.

Milestone #3: degree 'spinning' (very slow spinning!) on his tummy

Milestone #4: Roll over to his tummy. But of course we missed it. He started crying so I put him on his back and then i went to make a cup of tea. Scott was working just next to him, and the next minute he was on his tummy!

27 Jul

Had lunch at the Southbank and walked along the river with Scott in the afternoon.

Last night in Brisbane - we were having dinner with Marg & Murray, Janelle, Paul and the kids at the Thai restaurant not far from where we lived. Again, Oli slept well in the stroller. Yay!

28 Jul

It's funny what happened today. We flew out today , the flight was ok too. Except the nappy changing part in the small lavatory because I thought his nappy was soiled. Little did I know he then really soiled his nappy during landing - and his jumpsuit. He was really smelly, but couldn't change him until we landed.

got in the first parent room we found, but in the middle of changing nappy he decided to go for a wee, and spoilt his spare jumpsuit. I haven't got a spare of spare jumpsuit, we hadn't got our luggage, the only thing i had in the bag was my top that I packed just incase he leaked on me. So here he is, in mummy's top, happy as can be!

2007-07-19T23:07:00.000+10:00

New pictures are uploaded on: http://home.exetel.com.au/bradley/baby_album/my_pictures.html

A Handful Oli

2007-07-16T11:13:00.000+10:00

with cousins Nic, Chloe & Ben

Mummy's been pigging out.

It started with Oli being very fussy during the day lately, and when I took him him to see the nurse at the health centre, we found out that he hasn't been gaining enough weight (can't tell if you look at his chubby cheeks & creases on his legs though).

The nurse recommended me to start cereal on him. But he's only 4 months old!

Desperately trying to increase my milk supply (hence a lot of food, water, milk and beer!!! We don't have guiness but apparently normal beer helps to increase milk production as well - good enough for me) because I really need him to have good immune system & antibody at the moment:
1. I am catching flu (not looking forward for his first head cold), but this might actually mean that my milk will decrease
2. He's getting his second jabs on Thursday
3. We're going to Queensland to visit poppy Bradley & nanna Marg for a week on Saturday.

So far I'm sick of eating and drinking and not sure if my milk supply increases.

Would be an interesting (and dreading) to see what happens. He's a handful already even when he's not cranky. He's doing half roll now when put on his back on his babygym, trying so hard to roll over until his face turns red and he gets really upset that Mummy needs to step in. The other day he's trying to crawl with his face down dragging along on the baby gym - oouch - that mummy needed to step in as well.

His naps are generally getting better now that I take time to do proper wind down. I'd pick him up when he's whingy and start singing to him (Unfortunately Scott said the only reason Oli goes quiet everytime I sing is because he's hoping that maybe mummy would stop singing? Very funny, dad.) His favourite song is 'over the rainbow' but mummy can only sing the first verse (over and over and over).

what's in the name

2007-07-10T12:56:00.000+10:00

Lots.

Apparently, these days parents get a lot of pressure in naming their babies. They want their chidlren to have names that set them apart from the rest of the pack, but also not so unusual that they will be target of the bullies at school.

(In my opinion, people -no matter how famous they are- who named their children Apple, Shiloh or Suri are as weird and nasty as what Michael Jackson did to his sons - just different approaches)

Anyway, some parents are willing to go the distances by hiring a baby-name consultant. Yes, a baby-name consultant.

For $95, BabyNames.com will set you up with a half-hour phone consulting session to find that perfect name for your little one. If that’s too much time and money, you can pay $35 and they’ll suggest 12 names based on a list of preferences you can check off on the site. Do you want ethnic, biblical, trendy, traditional? How about a name of your favourite place? (Sidney? Wiena? As long as it is not Paris).

Or you can shell out more to pay a numerologist to see if your favourite name has positive associations, or get the expert to make up names from the combination of your and your partner's name combinations.

Oh boy, talking about spending money. My suggestions would be that you go to the library and borrow some babyname books or find them on the internet, and spend that $35 or that $95 for coffee and cake or dinner with your partner, before the little one arrives (you can also talk about baby names with him!)

The mind game

2007-07-04T09:38:00.000+10:00

I am soo tired. Our little angel has turned into a nightmare this week. He's very moody and cried and cried and cried and unconsolable - and we (I) don't know what we did wrong or if something wrong with him.

I threw soo many theories on him already. Maybe he is an early teether since he is a bit of a drooler now and bites my finger when I offer it to him - not to mention always sucking his own fingers now? (Oh this is funny. He sooo drools now that when Charlie, a 2 years old son of Scott's friend came over and we told him to give Oli a kiss, his first reaction was, "Yiiikes... he's smelly!" And Oli wasn't smelly that time, and believe me, I know how smelly smells.)

Maybe he's catching cold because of the winter weather? He woke up last night during our dream feed or rollover feed or whatever you want to call it, and cried his lungs out when we put him down, which is very unusual of him. So much worries that I decided to give him some panadol infant. The second we squirted that panadol infant on him, he suddenly went quiet and we didn't hear a single squeek after that. Obviously the drug wouldn't work within that 30 seconds, so it was the shock - shock therapy does work!!! For all he knows we could have just squirted water into his mouth.

Maybe he's getting older and he needs more activities? Maybe I misinterpreted his boredom with sign of tiredness?
Who knows.

It is like playing a charade really. Except he can't tell me if it is one word or two words, no cues whatsoever. The only cue, the repetitive cue is that same looooong wail. It is taking so much energy to guess what he wants. And so this little devil makes soo much impacts on my days. When he's happy, I am happy. But when he's cranky, I am even crankier.

"What do you want, Oli?"
"waaa waaa waaa"

"Are you not feeling well?"
"waa waaa waaa"

"Right, if you keep crying, I am going to put you on ebay. As new - very well trained, generally contended and already sleeps through the night."
"waa waaa waaaa" (maybe this one means: hmm not a bad idea, mum!)

Accidental parenting?? (if it's not for Oli)

2007-06-16T09:11:00.000+10:00

The book that I am following Oli's routine from, "The secret of Baby Whisperer" said that parents can do 'accidental parenting', such as turning things (or themselves) into prop needed by babies to settle down, allowing them to not be able to independent sleeping by rocking them, putting them in their bouncers, offering breast, using dummies, etc etc. It is a cycle usually starts by a child who can't seem to be settled so parents pick him up or rock him or do whatever it takes to settle him (trust me, we'd do anything to get him back to sleep when he cries his lungs out every hour in the middle of the night) and then the parents do it again next time he cries because 'it worked last time' and at the end the baby depends on whatever the 'prop' is to settle him back.

Being the textbook I am, of course I soo don't want to do any accidental parenting. I reckoned I would.. if it's not because of Oli. You see, i followed everything word by word from the book.. and tried to fix something that ain't broken.

As an example, it recommended to wind baby down before nap/bedtime by holding him in your arms - only when Oli's about 2.5 months old did I realise he doesn't really like a cuddle before bed. It makes him unsettled instead - I think I have a baby who likes to go straight into business, "wham bam thank you ma'am' baby. Life is sooo much easier now - how lucky we are to get a child who doesn't need to be nursed before bedtime. Woo hoo...

The book also recommend teaching baby to self soothe and put himself back to sleep when he stirs from the REM sleep by 'shhh-pat tehnicque (now, babies have approximately 45 minutes sleep cycle where he moves from the REM sleep into deep sleep like an adult - the problem with that is that some babies wake up when they shift gear and can't go back to sleep by themselves and start crying desperately instead). We did it for a while but Oli doesn't like it!! His crying got worse - the 'shhh' and patting on his back actually woke him up. So we gave up - and thought, "what the hell.." and did what is not recommended by the book. We picked him up and let him fall asleep in our arms (it didn't work very well either though, most of the time he got settled this way because he was just too tired and boy, he was a nightmare during that stage!). But who would've thought.. he just doesn't cry anymore and been sleeping so well the past week that I never need to pick him up again... Again - this is him and has nothing to do with any technique. Lucky is an understatement and it has nothing to do with what we do as parents. I probably would have changed him into all the bad things I feared him to be if he's not the one in control *grin*.

But actually..... sometimes I think I am not reading his cues, it's actually him reading my cues. Sometimes I think I put him down too soon but he never whinge, like he knows it's his bedtime and then tries to go to sleep (and laying there for 20 minutes with eyes open and me feeling bad about it, but since he's not crying I can't pick him up). Or he wasn't fussy about food but the minute I put him in position then his mouth starts rooting. I am still convinced that he's actually the one in control but only let me think that I am (whatta a good boy, knows mummy needs this for her ego).

Febi (damn you, Feb!) always said she feels sorry for my child because i am a control freak *grin* but I think she would've felt sorry for me, because if it wasn't because of Oli I am probably too busy pulling out my hair to write this blog entry.

Mothers vocabulary update

2007-06-12T10:48:00.000+10:00

Phew. Not much time left beside looking after little Oli - excuse my laziness to update my blog. But I thought I should post this little article found on the web - just for fun!

You knew many things would change once you became a mother, but did you expect your vocabulary would be one of them? Here are some common words that may have taken (or will take) on new meaning thanks to your baby:

Amnesia: The condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the pureed carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you're really mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes and socks into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Two minute warning: When your baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

All you need is love...

2007-05-30T13:26:00.000+10:00

Mum's gone home after 2 months staying with us to help me out. She wanted to stay longer but there wasn't any seat available during June when we tried to change her flight. Although she seemed to be sadder to leave Oli than me.

She left me with hundreds questions: how am I going to survive without her? What am I going to eat? I suddenly feel like a grown up. I am not playing house - I am running a household and a family now!! EEKS...

Anyway, it's now half a week since she's gone. We are okay - Oli and I. Trying to settle into routine without my mother. So far I have only text-ed her less than 10 times regarding my worries. See, this is the only thing I hate about parenting - I am sooo neurotic (and a bit of hypochondriac) and trust me it's not much fun worrying about your little person. And why is parenthood is all about trial and error - I don't want to run experiments to my child, I just want to do everything right for him!).

I saw those mothers I saw walking down the streets with two kids, usually one toddler and one baby and I asked Scott, "How do you think they manage it? If you have a 2 years old child who is still demanding a lot of your time, and you need to feed a newborn every 2.5 hours, and that each feed takes about one hour, when do you have time for the older one?"

His answer: "impossible, Linda, impossible."

PS. We're having a mothers club meeting next week, and as Scott put it, many new mothers only got interested in mothers club after their mothers had gone home.

Brand New Day

2007-05-24T16:49:00.000+10:00

Everyday is a brand new day. Well, not exactly right for me, as everyday is a repeat from the other day. Just like the groundhog day. It's a repeat from yesterday - wake up, feed the baby, change nappies, you get the point.

But for Oli, this little baby who did not even existed in the world ten weeks ago, everyday is indeed a brand new day.
Discovering new things. Learning new things. Understanding.

Scott went away for two nights and his comment when he got home was "Oli was like a stranger to me. He's grown, his face is different, and he seems to understand what's going on."
How true. How amazing.

He started talking about two weeks ago and now seems can't get enough of coo-ing and goo-ing. (You'd say: "No more talking, mister. It's bed time" and he starts giggle and talking back). He only just found his fingers (only his left ones, the right hand is yet to be discovered), and he is mastering it by frantically trying to put them in his mouth whenever there is a chance. We put his down for his bedtime, all relaxed and zen, and fifteen minutes later he cried. When we checked on him, he was too busy sucking his thumb and too awake to put himself to sleep. (Though I am glad I quickly realised that sucking his thumb does not mean that he is hungry)

Now I know how proud it feels to be a mother, even though I share it with millions others (being a mother, I mean). I am so proud just looking him grow, looking at him putting on weight, smiling at me - just basically being him. Watching him mastering his body is exciting.

As something that I read somewhere, 'you want to show your baby to the whole world but most important is that you want to show the whole world to your baby'. That is so true. And all I need in return is his smile. That's all I need!

First Mother's day

2007-05-14T17:44:00.000+10:00

To all the mothers in the world (and especially my mother): HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

I didn't think Mother's day would feel different from usual. But strangely, it did. Granted, I am a Mother now, but still, it feels surreal. I am proud to be mother - which is funny, why would you be proud?

(Because it is the most tiring yet fulfilling job. It is indeed the most important job in the world!)

Things I love being a mother

2007-05-01T21:38:00.000+10:00

It might be too soon to find out all the good things about motherhood, but these are the things I found out already - things I love being a mother:

* His first, second, and third smiles... and more

* Feeling a tiny fist curl around your finger when you touch his palm

* Putting the sole of his feet on your cheeks, and see him rewarding you with a smile

* The smell of his hair, the softness of his cheeks, and the warmth of his skin

* Watching him sleeping (for a looong time and never get tired of doing it) and wondering what the future holds for him

* Sneaking into his room to check on him, just to find out the second you step into the room he turn his face around and bright eyes looking straight at you - and cry for attention

* Watching him stop crying when he sees you

* When you cuddle him, he nestles on your shoulder and snugs in the crease of your neck

* When he falls into a deep sleep in your arms

Month 2 - milestone

2007-04-22T09:27:00.000+10:00

Statistics:

11 Apr 07: weight 4350gr, height 55cm

22 Apr 07: weight 4760gr, height 55cm

31 Apr 07: weight 5010gr, height 55cm

8 May 07: weight 5420, height 57.25cm

First sleeping in: Saturday 15 April 2007, Oliver slept in from 9.30pm to 5.30pm. Mama did not sleep waiting for him to wak up, worrying sick that he is starving. Anyway, the nurse at the mother & child centre put my mind to rest when she weighed him and he put on 410grams in 10 days (they would like to see children put on between 15-30grams perday so Oli's weight gain is above average - yooouuuuu little piglet!!!!!). She said the reason why he sleeps through is because he has enough during the day, but be WARNED - this will change!!)

First big smile for Mama & Daddy: Saturday, 21 April 2007 with a little goo noise. Made our day!

First lift his head 90 degree: week 6

Control freak 'Stepmother'

2007-04-19T19:33:00.000+10:00

I am one of those people who thought parenting was an easy job and that I would handle it just fine and that I would be back to my normal routinity in no time.

You see, I am a textbook person. I like everything to go accordingly to the textbook, I plan everything waaaay ahead and got stressed out when things don't work out the way I plan (which usually the way they end). This is why my friends said I am a control freak and that I would be a 'stepmother' (like the one in Cinderella) to my own kids trying to be in control.

Even before Oli was born, I had my plan on how to look after him perfected in my head. You see other women having babies and you think it's easy, but now I'd say you have to spend at least 24 hours with them to know how it is like exactly being a mother. If you were like me, you'd judge those mothers for only a small amount of time, and already you'd think about things that you would do and would not do if it was your own child -- then your baby comes along and nothing works to your list.

I knew the first few weeks were going to be hard and that I would loose some sleep but I was being a smart ass thinking that it would be a piece of cake. Actually I was being a smart ass about the whole 'I'd be a good mother straightaway' thing and that I can fit the baby in my schedule. It takes a lot of work and practice and it takes your (and his) whole life to learn it.

Going out after the initial shock and restless nights doesn't get much better straight away as well. My baby is such an angel (like all other mums would say about theirs), we generaly don't have any difficulty putting him down for a nap or nighttime sleep. He's been following some routine since he was 3 weeks old, which is great because all we need to do to make him sleep now is by putting him in his cot and he's been sleeping in at nights since he's 5 weeks old but of course there are some odd days when all he does is crying and that is something that we need to be flexible about when planning our day (or mine during weekdays).

The other day Sharon and I planned our first outting, which ended up just having coffee at her place because it all got too hard. You see, you can plan your schedule around, but babies don't have regular schedule. You can plan to go out and come back just in time for his next scheduled feeding time but then he wakes up half an hour earlier than when he's supposed to be up - would you tell him to follow his schedule and go back to sleep?). It takes a lot of organisation and planning to go out. He would need to be fed, changed and by the time we're ready to go, we would only have 1-1 1/2 hours before his next feeding time (three hours slots really doesn't mean anything if you actually only have that much time between each feeding to do your chores in between) . I still can't be bothered to try to feed him outside (eg at babies room in the malls etc., since that would mean spending at least half an hour feeding & changing gim in these early days)

At the end I really don't want to do it to my baby anyway (well, not yet). I would go out and rush my way around just to be home on time for the feeding, or if I go out with him, I would rush my way around so he doesn't wake up on the road and crying and I had no way to console him (Mum said, "Shopping is fun, but not with you because you always in the rush to go home". Hey, don't blame me, it's only 5 weeks since my life changed forever.) It breaks my heart to see him crying either in pain, in hunger, or just searching for comfort. Call me soft, call me undiscipline, tell me that I am making it difficult for myself, but wait until you have your own child and you'll call it mother's love.

Confession of the Milking Cow

2007-04-13T09:50:00.000+10:00

Allow me to introduce the new me. I am a mother - a very cranky mother since I hardly remember what a goodnight sleep feels like, my life has changed completely since baby Oli was born. I live on three hour slots basically, starting from the time he screams his lungs out (he's got very healthy lungs by the sound of it), which means it is his feeding time, to the next feeding time. I never feel so much being used by a person - literally - as a milking cow.

Baby Oli is a sucker - or maybe he just loves mummy's lovely milk. But breastfeeding does not come natural to me. Now if it is a natural thing, how come both mother and the baby need to learn to do it in perfect harmony? If it is so natural how come I have been in constant pain from the first day?

From the first day, everyone has different opinion. They said it shouldn't feel uncomfortable but then they said it was normal to feel uncomfortable since I might still be tender and need some adjusting period. What the???

Other girls that I spoke to at the new mother club didn't have any problem with breastfeeding and that made me feel something is wrong with me.

After some soul searching (starting from being a showcase in front of midwives in the hospital to make sure he latched alright, to calling the breastfeeding association lady and talking to the nurse at the mother & child centre), I finally decided to get a lactation consultant. The day I rang the breast lady (Scott has a different term for her, too rude to put it down here), Mum (who happened to be staying with us) objected straight away. See, again we have different opinions. Mum said it has only been a month, while in my opinion it has already been a month.

The breast lady and I went through the technique of latching and some other issues. The day when she came and visit, Oli slept through for 7 hours at night (with mummy not able to sleep waiting for him to wake up). I am still waiting to see if I can actually put all the theories into practice.

Fingers crossed...

PS. New pictures of 4 weeks old Oli are in the baby album on http://home.exetel.com.au/bradley

First time mummy

2007-04-08T19:58:00.000+10:00

After the initial shock of being a mother, I realised the hardest part of the motherhood is that we are no longer a couple, we are a family now. You can't just do things impulsively, can't go out just whenever you want to (organising bub to go out turned out to be a very hard work and takes a long time), can't go out too long (need to coincide with bub's feeding time), and your spouse it no longer the only most important person in your life.

It is not all fun but it's wonderful journey (I thought newborn only wakes up to eat and poo and spend the rest of the day sleeping - little did I expect that they are capable of driving mummy crazy with their high pitch cries). I am enjoying the motherhood although it is still feel surreal - it has been 4 weeks but it still hasn't sunk in yet for both Scott and I.

New first things for the first time mummy (moi):

* First nappy change
Eeks.. what is that yellow gooey thing in his nappy? How do you clean him? It is funny how two educated people actually get clueless in these things and need to get someone else (the midwife) to show you how to clean his botbot and change his nappy. Fortunately the blackish sticky poo didn't last for very long (well on the serious side, it's called meconium which is the first baby's poo and they only last for 3 days) Eventually you get used to the smell and the colour and the frequencies (how could a tiny thing dispose that much stuff it's a mistery to me!)

*First poo and wee (on me!)
We bond together looking after bub. It might sound cliche, but looking at Scott talking to Oliver always gives me a warm feeling because we share our love. We share experience and responsibilities like a team when we look after him, bath him, feed him, put him to bed, even play with him. It is just amazing.

And I never thought that I would put up with someone peeing and weeing on me.

*First excursion (with baby)
First baby excursion was to the baby shop to get his first stroller. And I just could not believe so much preparation needs to be done just to go to the shop which almost practically around the corner. Everything is about timing - we rushed out the house just after he finished his breakfast (didnt' even give him time to burp yet) and I kept looking into his little capsule to see if he's awake when it was time for his next feed. In the second excursion to Ikea a week later, we actually got trapped in the traffic and I was so nervous and cranky because I just want to get home before he screamed and I couldn't stop blaming Scott for choosing that route home.

*First excursion (without baby)
.. is as nerveracking as going out with the baby. Grandma was home to look after him when Scott and I went out for Sharon's prewedding barbecue. The minute we left home I felt strong urge to call home straight away. I gave it half an hour, because my hubby said I HAD to. Rang mum after half hour and about 1.5 hours after we left home. "Has he eaten yet? Is he asleep? Is he being fussy?" and mum went, "YES... (now leave me alone).." Well she didn't actually say that but I read between the lines.

New (not so yummy) mummy

2007-03-27T10:40:00.000+10:00

2 weeks into the motherhood. Thanks for all the congratulations.

I am still trying to get into and enjoy the motherhood. It is the most tiring job in the world. I don't regret it the slightest - he's the most gorgeous little person in the whole world (and I am sure no one would dare say that I am biased) and the most amazing thing that happened in our life (This little man has grown into an individual with his own characters. He is not just a 'baby' anymore, he's Oliver who gets cranky when he doesn't get his food, always refuses to close his eyes even though he was yawning and yawning, and loves a drive in daddy's car; it is hard to believe he is the same helpless little creature born 2 weeks ago and the same person who was in my tummy for 9 months). But the whole thing has given me a new meaning on the new mummy syndrome:

Banana in pyjamas - No, it is not Oliver's favourite show. It is how I feel since I spend more time in my pyjamas than ever during the day. Most of mornings I would get up just to feed Oliver straight away and do not even have time to have my breakfast first or do other thing first. You just don't have time to look pretty anymore (taking shower is even a luxury) and anyway, the minute you put the baby down after a feed he'll wake up demanding more within an hour -there's no time, and frankly, why bother?

Walking zombie - All flesh and no soul, I am operating on the automatic gear like a walking zombie at the moment. Apart from being the milking cow I am, I switch on by the tiniest coo and sniffle from the little one. I jump straight from the bed instinctively, without thinking or anything. Scott scolded me for doing that when my stitches were still fresh from the surgery room. The other day we went to Ikea with Scott's mum and only in the car I realised I was wearing my home slippers - ugly ripped apart batik slippers. But do I care? Not a slightly bit.

Mixed feeling, baby blues - The third day at the hospital I had my first episode of baby blues. Tired, not enough sleep, incision pain, and been in the hospital all by myself (Scott went to work that day), I burst into tears in front of the midwife (apparently this is normal, since all the pregnancy hormones that gave me that 'zen' feeling suddenly shut off on the third or fourth day). Scott and I have been working as a team from the day we went back from hospital and Scott's mum had been here helping us out for two weeks as well, so I am more less better (although I would love to have ten hours of unbroken sleep. He is so angelic (mostly when he's asleep) but sometimes I still feel like putting him in the basket outside the gate with a little note "free to take home".

Baby boy!

2007-03-18T20:00:00.000+11:00

Oliver Asha Bradley was born with C-section on March 13, 2007 at 00:01 after 12 long hours of normal labour attempt. Weighing 3.77 kg and 51 cm tall, apparently he was to big for mummy's petite figure.

Was discharged from the hospital last night (17 March) and am very very exhausted. More details coming.

Week 40 - Countdown

2007-03-06T10:20:00.000+11:00

Monday 5 March - 4 days to D date

My book ('the bible') said to be aware of frequent fetal hiccups, 2-4 times a day of more than 10 minutes episode each time, since it might be a sign that the umbilical cord had become tangled around baby's neck (this, and or decreasing fetal activity but my baby has not stopped being active ever). I thought he had a lot of hiccups episodes but I timed them today - he had only 3 episodes but each lasted only around 5 minutes.

Braxton hicks are getting more often tonight and painful. I was not even sure if they are not real contractions when they happened, but they didn't last long enough.

Tuesday 6 March - 3 days to D date

I am still here. It's not happening yet although people started to ring up to check on me. I haven't gained any weight from last week though, which apparently is one of the prelabour signs (either weight gain is slowing down or actually losing weight but with the way I eat, it even surprise me that I haven't put on weight this week. Food turnaround in this household has never been so fast, especially with sweet food like ice cream, chocolate and biscuits!)

Wednesday 7 March - 2 days to D date

Went out with Sharon to her wedding dress fitting, papershop, lunch etc etc to keep myself busy. Not very fun being out when people commenting how big my tummy is, that I must be due anytime soon now (in two days time, actually, if you really really need to know).

Thursday 8 March - 1 day to D date

Probably nesting instinct kicking in, I spent the whole day at home, baking and cooking (and eating the cookies straight away).
No sign yet.

Friday 9 March - The D date

Don't think it's happening today. Had a msn chat with Sinta last night and she asked me if I started dreaming about the labour - and of course I did have the dream after she mentioned it. Not sure if I really felt something but as they are gone in the morning, they must have just been braxton hicks.

Had lunch with Sharon then drove to the doctor. Baby is still in the same position as last week, which is 3 fingers from the pelvic. Scott said, "he kept saying that, did you give him 3 fingers when he's not looking?"

As predicted, baby didn't arrive. All the built-up anticipation had gone away now - I was ready for the pain and the labour but now I am not so sure anymore.

Am starting to feel that he's so stubborn that I might need to be induced eventually.

Week 39 - Full moon baby?

2007-02-28T19:22:00.000+11:00

My body:
More than 38 weeks and am still pregnant. Looks like I am going to distance to 40 weeks (or more). Apart from getting uncomfortably bigger I haven't got any concerning complaints.

My baby:
is now about 51cm in length and weighs around 3.2kg. The vernix that has covered him and has protected his skin for the last nine months will assist him to pass through the birth canal and provides a layer of insulation after he is born. It is routine for the remaining vernix to be washed away after delivery.

I must look ready to pop out - the guy at the service station where I was getting petrol pointed at my tummy and being cheeky, took out his measure tape from his drawer. Haha, very funny.

We celebrated our 4th anniversary this week (first of March) - Scott wanted baby to be born on that day but I am happy that we dont' have to share our anniversary with his birthday.

(I was going to get Scott tickets to Little Britain live but given that the show was on the 28th February and was a bit risky, he had to settle with the Little Britain live dvd. Even though we could have gone to the show, it is still definitely cheaper and he can watch it over and over again with the dvd!)

Birgit rang and said that it would be a fullmoon night this Saturday. We're not sure if this is another old wives tale, but it has been believed that there are more women in labour during full moon than normal nights and that if there is a full moon close to their due date, they should prepare to give labour during that full moon, regardless whether it is before or after the due date.

This is from the net:
Contractions known as "Braxton Hicks" -- sometimes noticeable to the mother and sometimes not -- become more pronounced and many travel to the maternity unit in the belief that "it's time" (during fullmoon). Disappointed -- or perhaps relieved -- they return home, the pains having subsided and with no dilation of the cervix.

While these expectant mothers visiting the clinic with their mistaken signs of labor are part of the reason why extra staff are needed, the major difference is found in the number of women whose amniotic sac -- the water -- breaks.

Just as some women experience false labor pains, in cases where the water breaking marks the start of childbirth, full moon is the time when it's most likely to happen.

The theory is that the moon's gravitational pull effects the amniotic fluid in much the same way as it effects the water in the sea, rivers and even the water that's otherwise found in our bodies.

As a woman's body prepares for natural childbirth, the amniotic sac becomes distended so the point where it will easily burst if put under pressure. Under normal circumstances, the pressure of labor contractions bursts the sac. During a full moon, the pressure caused by the moon's effect on the water inside the sac can cause the same things to happen, but without the accompanying contractions.

When this happens, natural childbirth doesn't always move forward and with no other signs of labor present, the obstetrician may decide to induce the birth. During my own study of this phenomenon I found that of 8 women whose births started with the water breaking at full moon, 5 of them had no accompanying contractions.

Anyhow, this caused us a little anxiety on Saturday. But nothing happened. And I wasn't sure if we were ready anyway, merely because we still have some last minute things to do (get my car organised - not happening though, sadly, get the baby capsule fitted, etc etc).

Week 38 - Watermelon

2007-02-20T10:13:00.000+11:00

2 weeks until Friday 9th March 2007

My body:

*Sleeping is a bit of problem with finding a comfortable position to lay down. Even though the best position is to lay on your side (Laying on your tummy is obviously impossible, as you'd feel as if you are laying on a big watermelon and laying on your back is not good either as baby is pushing all of your organs and suppresses the oxygen flow), it still isn't comfortable with the weight that falls down from your side.

My baby:
weighs about 3kg (3000grams) and measures around 50cm in length. He is not likely to grow in length too much more but will still continue to put on some weight (which in turn resulting in my watermelon tummy).
The fine hair that has covered his body, lanugo, has now almost disappeared although some remaining on his shoulders and ears after his birth.

Not sure if baby is engaged yet, but Doctor said he's head is in position, 3 fingers up the pelvic. He can go lower into the pelvic or stay there until the labour, but we would not be able to tell. So that's pretty much saying that the baby is ready anyway.

We went to Anglesea, one of the towns along the Great Ocean Road, 2 hours from Melbourne. Sharon & Warren had been staying at Warren's parents holiday unit (they were there for 4 nights) and we drove there after Scott finished work on Friday and stayed for one night. It is a self contained unit with gum trees and kangaroos hopping around in the back yard (lots of roos poos as well). We just decided to go the night before - last chances before baby's born and all... The boys spent a lot of time fishing (apparently Warren's bible at this time is "Fishing for Dummies") - Sharon caught a fish and Warren caught a crab, while Scott specialised on seaweeds.

I wasn't worried about the possibility of having baby in the weekend, but I guess others were a bit freaked out.
Sharon: "Linda and I were talking about what if she is having labour this weekend. She's like a ticking time bomb."
Me: "Well, getting contractions wouldn't worry me we just need to drive back to Melbourne (about 2 hours drive) but I didn't think about what would happen if my water broke."
Warren: "I did!"

On Sunday we picked up changing table from Ade's place - another loan. It's perfect, except that now the nursery is so full and there isn't really enough room for everything. Despite a little cold feet I am feeling, I am actually feeling pretty excited to welcome a new Bradley into the world!

Week 37 - A little piglet

2007-02-15T09:54:00.000+11:00

3 weeks until Friday 9 March 2007

My body:
* To say that my tummy is big is an understatement, that's all I can say about it (Scott said: "and you thought you were pregnant three months ago, didn't you?")
* Braxton hicks are getting stronger, though very irregularly. I assume this is what it's going to feel (but stronger) when the real contractions kick in..
* My brain must have shrunk as a size of my bladder as well. Having trouble remembering things, not very good in holding conversation anymore and I feel so Dumb with capital D most of the time. Scott said there must be a good reason for it, maybe to reduce the tension or stress level but it is making me stressed thinking about how stupid I have become!

My baby:
* At 37 weeks gestation, the baby is now considered to be “full term” and if born now it is unlikely that he would would have any major complications. This week, he is busy shedding his downy coating of fine hair (called lanugo) and his coat of vernix caseosa, the cheesy substance that protects his developing skin. He swallows both of these secretions, which stay in the bowels until birth (eeks..).Then he will excrete a blackish waste called meconium that becomes his first bowel movement (eeks...).
* Lots and lots of hiccups, and when he does have hiccups it can go forever (or feels like it) and my tummy would move along the rhythm of his hiccups.

Scott started his Indonesian class this week. It's my birthday present for him so he can understand when the boy speak bahasa with me and his grandparents & family from my side.
Anyhow, Scott got home from his first lesson and started practicing all night, asking my name, where I came from, what time it was, etc etc. He's been practicing numbers by saying them out loud when he saw numbers on the street (plate numbers, speed signs, house numbers and I've been saying difficult numbers for him to translate either to bahasa or to english). We have also started sticking up post it notes on things in the house with the Indonesian words for them - soon our house will be all yellow from the notes!

We went to Mornington Peninsula on the 13th - wish I could say it's to celebrate our last Valentine's day as a couple but in reality I spent the whole time on my own. He was invited for a golf day and I just tagged along. He played golf all day and had dinner with work in the evening - and I pretty much had Valentine's day by myself. Better than staying home alone though, I got to see the peninsula with little bayside town and the beaches.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Chinese New Year fell on the 18th February this year (not that we are celebrating, although we are making this an excuse to go to a good Chinese restaurant with Sharon, Warren and the twins in Chinatown, which was packed with people, markets and the dragon show/barongsai). I just found out that this year is going to be a year of a pig and I went "oh no, my poor boy is a pig" until Rianti pointed out that Chinese women are racing to get pregnant this year - lucky pig brings fortune to the family. My father say it's a year of super fire pig - turn out he meant a golden pig year. The year of the pig is supposed to bring good luck and prosperity. But this time it is a golden pig year, which happens once in six decades. Yay!! My boy is going to be a rich man and I don't mind having a piglet anymore.

Doctor's visit is every week from now on. This Friday he said the baby is not engaged yet (settling into the pelvic - usually baby is engaged two or three weeks before the labour) so he say chances that he'll be seeing me in labour next week is probably around 10 percent only (and increasing 10% every week). Although he also said there is nothing you can do to stimulate the labour when it's not time yet - all things about raspberry leaf tea and including taking long walks etc are just old wives tales. Makes me feel better because I really honestly can't be bothered to go and about anymore nowadays.

Week 36 - Counting down

2007-02-06T18:02:00.000+11:00

My body:
* My tummy is as tight as a drum. I just can't believe that my skin can stretch that far. I can't even wash myself properly anymore since my tummy is too sensitive to scrub and my legs are too far to reach (hehe.. gross..)
* You know that sometimes you don't notice changes in you because they happen so gradually? My tummy grows so fast this week that even I notice how rapid it is expanding. By the end of next week, I will come to full term, which means then it can happen anytime...

My baby:
He may have moved down into my pelvis, or the “engaged” position, around now. They said that this may give you the feeling of “lightening” as your uterus drops away from your lungs and other internal organs that have been pushed upwards by your growing baby, but I can't tell.
His nails and hair have grown quite long while developing in the tummy.
He is still very very active in my tummy, despite every information I read says that he should be settling down by now as he doesn't have so much room to move around in his sac anymore.

My bag is (almost) packed. Just like when need to pack for holiday (I will be staying at the hospital for 4 nights), I can't really decide what to take. It's also not easy to pack things (ie. maternity wears) away when you still need to wear them everyday.
Some of baby stuff have been washed and packed as well, but I am still waiting from some stuff Mum is going to send from Indonesia.

We bought the mattress for the cot in the weekend (which is one size too small - how predictable, nothing can be done well in just one go lately.) and received the baby bjorn carrier from ebay this week. We shopped around for strollers but it is still too hard. So many things to think about - the weight, the size, whether or not we're planning to have second child (the saleslady kept asking this question as some strollers can have additional toddler seats and others can't - I feel like telling her off, leave me alone and let me deliver my first baby first before asking about the second one!).
Scott and I went to the baby & kid market in the weekend. It was madness! Mayhem! Mums and Dads everywhere carrying their babies in their baby carriers, people got stuck behind strollers and prams (and watching parents when they get out of the car is not just getting out and close the car doors anymore but also involves taking out the stroller, unfold it, put the baby in, etc etc). This is exactly what we're going to be doing for the next 3-4 years but my darling hubby couldn't handle it he had to step outside and wait for me on the steps of the townhall where it was held....

(On Wednesday we went to the mall because Scott had to pick up some movie tickets for a gift hamper, and when we got to the cinema there were mothers and babies everywhere, lining up for tickets, having coffee at the cafes surrounding the cinema. Must be Mothers club that day... I thought about what they are really talking about when they are together like that, would they all talk about their own kids at the same times and tell the others that theirs are better than anyone else's? Well this is what I say now, but who can guarantee I won't be like that when baby is born? Scott was making fun of me saying that I will be in that Mothers club in a few week but he will probably also be joining those parents in the competition on whose kid is the best. )

TENS - Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation

TENS is a drug free, non-invasive pain management tool - introduced at our birthing class as the most popular form of electro-anaesthesia pain relief. Low-voltage electrical pulses (that come from the TENS unit) stimulate the nervous system. This is achieved via soft conductive pads that are attached to the skin.

Taken from their website:
"Pain is the body’s warning system that registers in the brain as an unpleasant sensation. Pain messages are triggered by receptors in our skin, muscles, ligaments, discs, etc. These messages are transported via nerve fibres to the spinal cord and then to the brain where the sensation is registered.
In the course of these pathways, the nerve centres receive numerous sensory impulses other than pain. According to existing theories of pain, if these shared nerve centres are overwhelmed with electrical impulses (as delivered by the TENS unit) stimulation impulses can partially block the pain signals and reduce the level of pain sensation that is felt by the user.
This 'partially shuts the gate on the pain messages' and prevents them from reaching the brain.
Likewise TENS stimulation generates an endorphin release from the brain. Endorphins (popularly referred to as the feel good factor) are our bodies own natural pain relieving compound. As an additional feature, our patented waveform creates a 'distraction' to the pain."

We picked this machine up for hire in the weekend since a few couples have actually recommended it to us, including Scott's buyer from Bunnings and Ben & Ant Roberts who used it for their second baby (and since I am still freaking out about the pain)
This little machine has electrodes to be attached to the spines and will deliver little electrical impulses (like pins and needles when I tried it on) that can partially block the contraction pains and release more endorphins, and fully controlled by the person in labour. Our hope is that this will reduce the contraction pains and so minimise the need to use epidural or other drugs (but as I always say, I am not ruling it out!). I will let you know how it goes!

Getting ready

2007-02-05T13:23:00.001+11:00

Week 35 - Closer

2007-01-31T18:55:00.000+11:00

My body:
* The thing about having to get up to the loo four or five times a night is that eventually you're awake. Which means that you spend the rest of the night tossing around trying to go back to sleep - not to mention that no position is comfortable enough when you're 8 months pregnant. I am fully aware that it is a wishful thinking that this would be over and I can sleep throughout the night when baby is born. Oh dear..
* Heartburn is slightly better (depending on what I eat that day but I am coping better than before) and although I still am short of breath from time to time when I eat, I actually can eat more now (maybe that explains the growth spurt on the scale *grin*) and still looove eating the ice cream and the cakes and all those sweet things....

My baby:
now weighs about 2.4 kilograms (but I have a feeling he's bigger than that!) and measures approximately 45 centimetres from head to toe. His elbow, foot or head protrudes from my stomach when he stretches and squirms about. Soon, as the wall of uterus and abdomen stretch thinner and let in more light, baby will begin to develop daily activity cycles. He is now sporting fingernails and has a fully developed pair of kidneys. His liver can also process some waste products.

I've started organising music in my ipod for the labour (since I accidentally deleted ALL the songs in it the other week) but the million dollar question is: what kind of music that I would prefer during labour? Would it be classical music so I can relax, or would it be some ambient music for the serenity - or maybe some hard rock songs to channel my pain?

Met up with Sharon in the city last Wednesday and the next day my body was all sore, the sciatic pain came back from walking all day. So much for staying active until the delivery! Since being active can actually trigger the labour faster (they said), I have been getting a mixed and contradicting advise from people (some said don't be too active, others said get on my feet). I haven't decided if I prefer to have labour earlier or more later yet but at the moment with my activity rate, chances are that I will have late labour (too lazy!! too heavy!! too hot!! Mm.. basically too many excuses).

Had the second prenatal crash course at the hospital in the weekend. Would you believe it, we got LOST on the way there. We had been there a few times but I still had to look at the street directory and navigate the way for Mr Husband. We got there 20 minutes late. I hope it won't happen again next time (as next time would be when I am in labour).
Less gross things this time in the class, learned about breastfeeding and bonding and baby's pattern etc etc. Definitely more enjoyable than last time.

Had barbeque at our place on saturday night with Sharon and Warren, Ade and Khrisna and Adia the little one. Ade brought a lot of baby stuff to lend me - excellent! and we had a good chat about labour and all the life changing things about having baby.
She said it would definitely change your relationship with your husband...

Looking back and even looking at it now, I am grateful that we have such a solid relationship. We don't try to change each other, we talk, we share and we laugh with each other (well.. sometimes at each other as well..)
The other day I was pondering about life and death (I hate thinking of losing the loved one and realise so much things could have be done for them and so much things need to be said but it would be too late) - he said if we have a good relationship, there won't be any need to regret or wish that you have said those things or done those things. Words of wisdom....

Week 34 - Long way around

2007-01-25T12:18:00.000+11:00

My body:
* Sweet tooth, with me feeling like having milkshake or cheesecakes all the times - or maybe it's actually my body craving for calcium?
* My tummy is sooo heavy that I wish I could put it down for a few minutes! Scott's father asked if I had to carry my bump when I walk around - which indeed i do, put my both hands under my bump.I already hate being on my feet and walk about. I love sitting in my lounge, reading books and just doing nothing - lounge is once again my sanctuary (I have a slight preference to lay down on the old lounge which isn't very comfortable but accommodate my need to sit up straight)

My baby:
he's moving a lot and I can see my tummy changing shape from minute to minute. Sometimes he gets into a position that is uncomfortable and I can't get it to move. He is still piling up fat as he prepares himself to get out into this world!

"Let's try your fastest pace."
"Excuse me?" Sharon and I was walking down Brighton shops when she said that.
"Rrrr.. you're walking very slow", she said. I thought for a while and decided that this was - as matter of fact - the most comfortable pace that I can do at the moment. Her eyes rolled in disbelief.
"Really?"
"Really" - and I thought about what my 6-feet-tall husband thinks when he walks with me if even Sharon thinks I walk very slow.

Now from last week's antenatal class that I forgot to mention - the hospital that we are going to have the labour follows active labour approach. Which means that you need to keep active during contractions to allow the pressure of gravity to play a part in the opening of the cervix. Also in upright positions such as standing, kneeling, squatting, or on hands and knees, the women's body leans forward and the pelvic bones are free to open to their maximum (apparently squatting can increase the pelvic diameter by up to 30%).
Another thing is that when a woman lies on her back, the weight of the heavy baby on the blood vessels can slow down the flow of blood to and from the uterus and this reduces the oxygen available to the baby and can lead the baby becoming distressed. The uterus may not work as efficiently as possible and this may cause more pain.

Rrr.. We just have to wait and see if I can kneel down and pointing my ***** to the doctor/midwives in the labour.

Enough with the gross stuff. Hopefully we'll get the cot this week. Had some problems with the payment last week but it has been sorted out now. I have promised myself that I wouldn't do any impulsive buying for the nursery, but all the things out there are just too cute to ignore. I haven't really stuck with this promise and already bought some useless things (and still owing some essential stuff)

Long weekend this weekend - Australia day. We had a day trip to Geelong (Great Ocean Road) to get more mileage on the car but traffic was horrendous with people going up to the waterfront. There's a big Australia day celebration in Geelong which caused the traffic and roads blocked and we moved like snail parade. Not good when you're almost 8 months pregnant and got sore back even by sitting in the car for less than ten minutes.

Had dinner at Sharon's on the Saturday - Warren cooked beautifully as usual. We ended up talking about labour and birth and all the things that I really really wish can be avoided in the conversations (but the ones that I keep bringing up due to the freaking out nature of mine) and Sharon said, "if the baby's so small how come your tummy is so big?" grrrrrrh.....

Still no maternity hospital bag ready yet *grin*. Will organise it this week - that's a promise.

Week 33 - Last few weeks as a couple

2007-01-19T15:46:00.000+11:00

My body:
* I think I am experiencing variety of aches and pains in my lower ribs and pelvis, pretty much all over the tummy. They are very mild, cramp-like, but I can imagine this is common as baby is growing bigger. Another 7 weeks to go (although my feeling says that he's going to come out early), another 7 weeks to grow!

Baby:
He measures around 40cm long and weighs just over 2.3 kg. Quite adept at inhaling amniotic fluid, which is a practice breathing to get ready for his birth. He continues to put down layers of fat that will keep him warm after birth.

Nursery in the making...
yesterday we had nothing. Today we had a cot (although still not being delivered), baby bath, baby rocker, some clothes, baby monitor, nappy wrapper and bottle sterilizer. I am quite happy with our progress yet still unable to decorate the nursery due to the cot arrival yet. I am thinking to decorate his room with the untraditional colour but hate to say that I might end up doing blue since it's the only thing that most of the shop provide for baby boys. What's happening here? What's with the stereotype - blue for boys and pink for girls?

Had a doctor's appointment which was uneventful - happy to say it.

Had a dentist's appointment which was as uneventful - also happy to say it. My gum stop bleeding ages ago, just after I made the appointment with the dentist so he didn't do anything today, except telling me to come back after baby is born.

As hubby said, my life is on hold until baby is born. Can't do anything until he's born - i's getting a bit boring to stay home though, especially with Scott busy with work. He was in Sydney for 3 days this week (where he climbed the Harbour Bridge with work - so unfair, I am the one who always wanted to do it and he got to do it for free!) and on Friday he spent all day and dinner and everything with his customers at the Australian Tennis Open.

We had our first prenatal class in the hospital on Saturday - the first of our two weekend classes. There were about 8 to 10 couples in the class (all mixed couples no same sex ones) and we went through the process of labour, drugs options, what to expect etc etc. Needless to say I was ready to go home before two hours had passed. At least we didn't watch any labour video, that would be the last thing I want to see a few weeks before I have to deliver baby myself!

We are enjoying our last few weeks as a couple. We go out see movies, eat junkfood and sleep in. Can't believe we're running out of time.

Week 32 - One contraction at a time (third trimester panic)

2007-01-10T11:38:00.000+11:00

My body:
* Heartburn recovery - well, it is not fully recovered but the other night I was in constant pain all night with the burning sensation on my throat, only too realised that it might have been from the chili I had eaten earlier. From that night forward I HAVE not touch chili and poor hubby has to cope with my bland cooking - the less taste the better it is for my tummy.
* Is it just me or is it getting crowded here? Oh of course, there is a little junior growing in my tummy! Apart from frequent trips to the loo in the middle of the night ( I must have gone two hundred times last night , or so it felt like), the stuffiness (after big meal or some activities even like walking) keeps lingering. This has slowed me down a lot, since whenever I am out and about I always wish I was home half an hour later.

My baby:
Baby sleeps a lot of the time. He will gain weight more quickly now and will probably double in weight between now and his birth, fattening up for survival outside the womb. His skin is getting plumper and looking healthier.

Never, never did I imagine in my life that I'd enjoy a bowl of cereal with milk (I have always hated milk) - in the middle of the night!
The hunger attack is striking back. I've officially passed the 10kg mark (oh - my - god - !) and still have around 8 more weeks to gain. The book said I will gain about half a kilo a week now but roughly half of that goes straight into baby (mm.. what about the other half?)

I've read the whole chapter on 'labour and birth' in the book. The only thing it did was making me cringe. Honestly, as a rookie I was expecting the book to tell me what to do in the labour, for example how to 'push'. Apparently this should come naturally, but how do you push exactly? Birgit told me nothing can prepare anyone from the labour pain, so I have decided that my approach on this whole birthing business will be: donotpanicdonotpanicdonotpanic (I just have to repeat this mantra over and over again from now on). It's better than the book's approach: one contraction at a time. Rrrr.. that supposed to be reassuring?
The chapter on breastfeeding and what to do as soon as baby arrives is as clear (not!) as the labour part, but for this one I will learn from their labour's approach and adopt it for my own situation: just worry one breast at a time.

Week 31 - The New Year

2007-01-01T19:43:00.001+11:00

My body:
*Borrowing a friend's term, my pregnancy seems to be just 'uneventful' (at least so far, fingers crossed it stays the same until the end of it). My body is fully in sync with the changes that I am not very aware of them anymore. The only complaint I can report is the heartburn and indigestion that are driving me mad. (My sciatica pain even seems to ease down a little).
* I feel the Braxton Hicks (fake contractions) more often now, especially after a long walk or if I have been on feet for a longer period of time. It feels weird and sometimes painful.
* Although I know I am not very very pregnant yet ( I still have 10 more weeks to grow and people said that I will feel MORE pregnant in my 9th months), I feel that I am truly deeply very pregnant. Being in one position for five minutes makes me uncomfortable and short of breath. Eating a few spoonfuls makes my tummy feels very stiff. I started to walk like I wearing diaper, big toes about a foot away, back bent as such that tummy moves forward as if I need more statement about the pregnancy. My new nickname from my beloved husband is now (simple enough): "fatty".

My bubba:
He has grown another couple of centimetres and is around 39cm long and is a hefty 2kg. His lungs are maturing and continuing to develop so that he will be able to breathe unassisted when born.
He is rapidly laying down layers of fat in preparation for birth and his skin is filling out and becoming smooth and plump. His eyes blink while he is awake, and react to harsh lights. He has developed tiny eyelashes and eyebrows that frame his face.
Doctor told us that he has already turn into the anterior position around now - head down with his spine facing outwards in the direction of my navel.

Happy new Year!!

Our last New Year's eve as a couple. As my beloved said, "There is a big mental change. Before the new year, we were going to have a baby next year. Suddenly it is going to be this year."
Yup, it's closer and closer for sure. To be precise, another 2 months and a bit and we will be new parents.

The closer it gets, the more I realised that this pregnancy is leading to only one thing to end it: pain. Probably accompanied with a lot of screaming, for hours. Or a major surgery. And then the pain afterward.
I am terrified.

But worse than that is the worry about something might be wrong with the baby. I am back into neurotic mother to be I was in the first trimester. I freak out over what I have eaten (rrr... was the egg fully cooked? rrr.. I really don't think the oyster I just ate was cooked thoroughly... rrr... was I not supposed to eat that?) - all because the scary fact that mother's immune system is somewhat suppressed in the last trimester, or about the fetal movement (why is it if I am laying on my left side, baby seems to move every limbs of his body that I can feel it all over at the same time?). Although Doctor reassured me baby is going fine, I will not be able to relax until he is born.

I am officially moving on from pregnancy books to baby books (although I still have to finish the pregnancy books and will eventually have to read the dreadful chapter about the labour and birth).

I will be in my 8th month next week (yikes!) and have started thinking about starting the nursery. So far baby already has oversized clothes that can't be worn until he is at least 3 months old, 4 pairs of shoes (won't be needed until he can walk), 2 Disneys books (Winnie the Pooh and The Jungle Book), some fluffy toys, but SANS the essentials such as clothes that he can actually wear the minute he is born, cot, mattress etc etc. This must be the panic attack described by Birgit when he was 7 months pregnant and the nursery wasn't ready. Learning from her experience, I will not let this unpreparedness get in my nerves.

PS. Warren cooked us 5 course meals of seafood including lobster for the New Year's eve. We took time enjoying them and were still eating when the clock stroke at midnight!

Week 30 - Pregnancy bites

2006-12-30T20:38:00.000+11:00

My body:
* This afternoon Scott looked at my tummy and said, "Oh my God. You're so big... " Duuuh.
* Dreams... I think I started to worry about the labour that the other day I dreamed that I had the most beautiful baby and the labour only took five minutes. Hah, you wish!
* I am slowing down inevitably. Walk a few metres and I am out of breath, run the vacuum cleaner for a few minutes and I am exhausted.
*Bending over is SOOO difficult now. Until recently, I have never realised so many things need to be done by bending over, including clipping your toenails, tie up shoes, and even putting on pants!

My little peanut:
Weighs around 1.1 kg and measures about 38 centrimetres from head to toe. Testicles descend from near the kidneys through the groin en route to the scrotum. His head is getting bigger, and brain growth is very rapid at this time. Nearly all babies react to sound by 30 weeks.

I finally had a big emotional breakdown. All these emotions creeping down on me felt like suddenly exploded. The night before we went to Orange (for Christmas), it just downed to me that all these changes in our life will happen in two months! Bursting into tears I told Scott that I was worried because things are not (never) going to be the same again, there won't be time for only him and me anymore. All the things that I haven't done.. all the things I still want to do... My selfish part of me is dreading all those things, but of course I know all these changes will make our life better.
Me: (sobbing) "I feel unattractive, I feel ugly and insecure. I feel that you love me less"
Scott: "Oh don't be silly. You only think you feel like that, it the pregnancy emotion talking"
Me: "I don't know if I am ready to be a mother. Our life will never be the same.."
Scott: "Yes, of course. It will be even better!"

Travelling to Orange was proven to be a very hard work. Being 7 months pregnant and spent 9 hours in the car are not very good combination. A few toilet runs and a very sore back later, we arrived in Orange. The kids could not get out of the house fast enough to see my protruding belly...

Christmas in Orange, as usual involved a lot of food and desserts. Unfortunately all the food left me worried big times. I had a few sips of Scott's champagne thinking it should be okay but then changed my mind about it and worried all night. One night I had an english trifle at Janelle's and after I finished my share, David asked if the port 'was enough and can be tasted in the trifle'. Oops.
We ate a lot of cold meat as well. I tried to stick with the turkey which I knew Scott's mum made herself but when we finished the turkey, I could choose between eating the pork and the ham or being vegetarian (I ended up eating everything else but the ham since Scott said mum cooked everything except the ham). I feel so out of control.

We found out that Janelle, who initially didn't want to know the sex of the baby, accidentally found out from Holly, her daughter. So when I told it to Karen's daughters (Karen didn't want to know either), Karen said, "Oh no, they will accidentally tell me.. " and made me promise not to tell Ben the youngest so he couldn't tell her. Which I did alright, until I managed to let the secret out myself! I said "he kicked a lot during the night", then realising what I have done, I looked at her in horror - and it hit the spot. Ding doooong... (at least she found out on Christmas day!)

We left for home on the 29th December with lots and lots present, and got home with extra sore back!

Week 29 - Baby octopus

2006-12-19T10:28:00.000+11:00

My body:
* Heartburn is driving me crazy! I am taking it every day now, trying to stick with one tablet a day but I have a feeling this dose will go up soon. Feel like an addict.
* Fatigue and short of breath.
* Am bigger.....
* And toilet is my best friend now.

My baby:
* Baby is very very active and kicking everywhere at the same time. I am convinced that I am carrying a baby octopus in my bump!
*Baby is also kicking a lot when I put classical music (a lady I rang about classical music for babies told me that I should put one particular song at least twice a day so he will recognise the sound and hopefully calm him down after he is born). Sounds like he's protesting - maybe he's a rock and roll baby?

Nothing much happening this week. Went to visit Dr Campbell for my monthly visit. Went well and fast, as always. He said baby is growing steadily (steadily? Steadily 'bigger'?), all in the right place (ie. head is down now - and I thought he wouldn't move until later on the stage).
He said about the trip to Orange - "is not the problem" (what does he mean?) "although it is going to be very uncomfortable" (fyi. sitting in the car for 10 minutes has already made me uncomfortable now) "as long as the membrane doesn't rupture - you have 2% chance. If it breaks then you have to stay in Orange"

Had dinner on Friday night with Sharon's family who were here for one of the twins' graduation - at which they insisted that I have to eat more and more because I am eating for two now, whereas just the opposite, I couldn't even put much in my mouth to feel tummy extremely full and about to explode. (When people said they were so full that their tummies can explode, they obviously never felt FULL and PREGNANT).

Week 28 Stretching.. streching...

2006-12-12T14:55:00.001+11:00

My body:
* still growing big..... I think tummy is a bit disproportional now! Can't even cut my toenails anymore without big effort!
* Increasing appetite and sweet tooth - I have been getting up in the night to have midnight snack. I wish I didn't get hungry all the time now, especially with Christmas coming! What a bad timing! Who knows how much roast beef/pork/ham that I will consume during the Christmas period next week, not to mention the ice cream and the Christmas pudding etc etc.
* Bladder must be the size of a pea pod now baby is taking over most of the space - have to go almost every half hour!
* My sciatica (pain in the leg) is very bad nowadays. Sometimes I couldn't hold my weight on my right leg and it can be very sore, especially if I have been walking a lot during the day. Will see how it goes this week - I might have to go to a physiotherapist to see if they can fix it!

Little junior:
He is getting bigger and getting stronger. Weighs approximately 2.4 pounds and from this point forward, his weight gain will be due to increasing amounts of body fat. His movement are very defined now and sometimes giving me uncomfortable feeling (especially when you're trying to get to sleep). Sometimes after he kicks I would rub my tummy or press the spot gently and I could feel a part of his body underneath, before he moved it. A few minutes later he would kick and I would do the same again - it's like playing hide and seek!

Scott was away in New Zealand until Friday. One night I stayed awake researching on the net for babies names - we have one potential one that has been approved by some people - it's not a final yet, we are trying to get used to the name and see how we feel for a while we still have time to change our mind!

Went to see a few daycares as well this week - at one of the daycares I have got a little boy who was very friendly and gave me a cuddle. Gave me a warm feeling - imagine how it would feel with my own little boy?
There is still a part of me that is not sure if I am ready for motherhood but big, huge part of me can't imagine not having this little child in my life already even though he's not even born yet. They say you'd never know your ability to love until you have children and they are right. You just want the best for your child and that even start when he's still in your womb.

Move your blooming arse!!!
On Friday night we went to dinner at the Moonee Valley racecourse with Scott's colleagues.
It's the first time that I visited a race so it was rather exciting. Scott and I and Georgina actually picked trifecta winners on the first race even, but when we actually put money on our bet it didn't work out that well, as predicted.
We put the bet on the last race with all of our money (which summed up to $12 all together - what a poor couple!). It is all derived from good analysis, you see... I put it on number 2 (for my birth date and the horse name is actually Lady Lyn) and Scott bet on number 12 (for his birth date and the horse name is Diditformum and it was Scott's mum's birthday that day), lots of good factors for them, don't you think? Of course we just over analysed, although mine came third and with the 4 dollars that we put on that horse we will get something out (we haven't get the money from the TAB yet but Scott reckons we will get about 5 dollars out of it :P). One of the guys from the table won $1000 on that race. We put 20 dollars each on the punters club though (where they choose the horse for us) and at the end of the day we went home with $115 each. Not bad, especially since work actually paid for that 20 dollars!

Pilates and Yoga
After months of not doing any streching, I did pilates and yoga both in the same week! Went to Sharon's pilates place in Richmond and although it was good (could feel that I stretched the muscles that I haven't been using for ages) it's bloody expensive and I can't really afford it. They said I couldn't claim it to my private insurance because I haven't done the initial examination yet. Not really wanting to do initial examination there because it's just to far and I might not be going regularly.

Meanwhile, yoga is very interesting. It turned out that there is a yoga place just within walking distance from here that has prenatal class, so I could've done it ages ago (very ashamed of myself). Under normal circumstances I would hate the class. We lied down for the beginning and end relaxation with the Indian music in the background(that mis- tracked a few times on the cd player) and a very soft spoken instructor - I got restless at the beginning but at the end I sort of fell asleep (it was boring). I was surprised that I enjoyed the real yoga postures though. As much as I'd like to pretend that the pregnancy didn't slow me down, my body can't pretend that I wasn't pregnant and I think this is the only exercise that my body can handle at the moment.

Christmas shopping was unbearable as well. I had to sit down every half hour and it just tired me down. Glad it was over and done with, but I am not very looking forward to driving 7 hours to Orange next week.

Well I guess I am just a big pregnant woman now....

week 27 - 3 more months to go

2006-12-02T15:03:00.000+11:00

My body:
* Apparently, as I mark the days of my third trimester off the calendar, my body will continue to change and grow. I WILL gain weight more rapidly than in my first or second trimester, and my breats WILL increase in size and weight - up to FOUR times larger and heavier. One word: EEEEKS....
* It's happening.. third trimester is the most uncomfortable stage because baby is growing rapidly, which means you are bigger as ever, get fatigue easily, and short of breath all the time because the uterus is now up near the rib cage (apparently this also is influenced by how you're carrying your baby - whether it is low and small, or high or big - which in turn is depending on your build, how much weight you gain and of what diet you gain it for. I am petite (or used to be) but definitely not carrying the baby low and small! Anyway, my tummy is as hard as rock most of the time, and the heat (Melbourne has been around 37 degrees the past 2 days) is making me very uncomfortable.
* Bleeding gum - Mine is not too bad actually since it is only on one spot and only bleeds when I floss - but I noticed it is getting slightly worse. The gums, like the mucous membranes of the nose become swollen, inflamed and tend to bleed easily because of pregnancy hormones. Book suggested to take a lot of vitamin C and calcium, and also check with the dentist since if left untreated, gum disease increases a woman's risk of having a premature or low-birthweight baby (note to self: find a dentist)
* What causes heartburn during pregnancy? During pregnancy, hormone and physical changes may cause stomach acid to flow up into the esophagus. The hormone progesterone, produced by the placenta, relaxes the valve that separates the esophagus from the stomach. This allows gastric acids to seep back up the pipe, causing that unpleasant burning sensation. Progesterone also slows down the wavelike contractions of the stomach, making digestion sluggish. In later pregnancy, your growing baby crowds your abdominal cavity, slowing elimination and pushing up the stomach acids to cause heartburn (Which is why Mylanta & Rennie are my new friends now).

My Peanut:
His facial features are almost fully developed and synchronizing enough that he may make faces that are visible on an ultrasound (would it be like Scott? or would it be like me? Apparently Caucasian gene is stronger than Chinese but who knows - Mum is Javanese so there might still be a possibility...)
His skin is becoming ticker and fleshier and increasingly wrinkled, thanks to the amniotic fluid.
The brain is active this week as well. The characteristic grooves on the brain's surface start to appear and more brain tissue develops.
He's been having a lot of hiccups - also moving and kicking alot.

My third trimester. It said that I have to be extra careful now with what I eat because my immune system is now somewhat suppressed. Oh my GOD! I had a bratwurst dog in the market yesterday and I am completely paranoid about it now....

Lani arrived from Auckland on Tuesday morning and stayed with us until friday. I thought having Lani would be like having mum around - forcing me to have the exercises that I need. Two reasons why this time it didn't work: firstly, Scott was away so we got the car and almost drove everywhere. Secondly, we spent most of our time sitting down and eating and having a chat so not much walking involved. And to make it worse, I also felt like I am on holiday so I ate alot of unhealthy snacks and ice creams and all the things that I didn't need.

It's good having a company while Scott is away. We caught up a few times with Rui and Lani's other friend in Melbourne - spent time on the beach, looking around the city but most of the time, relaxing and taking our time.

As much as I enjoyed though - I felt too pregnant sometimes. It is getting hard to keep up since I don't have the same energy, also going out at night without alcohol is not as fun - few times I fell into the comfort zone of staying home, putting my legs up and have the air conditioning on, rather than being out and about at the pub. Am I getting old or just boring?

I just realised that I am not very happy with this doctor since he's just ignoring my questions or, to put it in more subtle way, doesn't really acknowledge my worries. My visits have been very short and everytime I asked something he just cut to the chase and did not even try to reassure me. I know he's been there and done that (old doctor he is!) and that he must have come across hundreds of new mummies to be like me, but that should make him more understanding that a lot of first timers are more nervous than others. It's a bit too late to change doctor now so hopefully he's really good in delivering babies.

Week 26 - Baby whisperer

2006-11-28T16:29:00.000+11:00

My body:

* Weight is going up steady no matter how I control my diet. It is still within reasonable range but every Friday morning (my weighing day), I still hold my breath when I step on that damn scale!
*Am bloated most of the time. Oh deaaar... It's one those situation where eating or not eating doesn't make any difference so you might as well eat.....

My baby:
is almost 1 kg, and hears noises, responds to light and is generally more aware of its surrounding. In the same way that you can see a flashlight if you hold it against your palm, the baby can see the light coming through my belly. His hearing is fully developed and as he reacts to sounds, its pulse increased.

Aaargh.... 26 weeks! Where did time go? Next week I will be going in my third trimester... In a short order, i will be a (giant) walking canvas of diapers, breast milk and poo... probably longing for the calm of being a Lady of Leisure I am now. I can't yet fathom the life with the baby but people said I should definitely enjoy the boredom of not doing anything at the moment, I sure won't have any leisure time when junior is born. There is a worry that the carefree side of me will rebel - I still have my chick lit book next to my pregnancy book on my bedside table. And although I have been piling books about choosing the right nursery and all the baby stuff, I still haven't actually read any and still choose Paulo Coelho over them.

I have put the dvd of baby whisperer (not sure what it's called though) by this Australian woman, Priscilla Dunstan, on my Christmas list. She was in Oprah the other day and on Australian TV yesterday and claimed that she had unlocked the secret language of babies. A lot of parents swore that understanding the sounds that babies make have made their life so much easier and more relaxed - especially for new parents.

After studying more than 1000 babies between 0-3 months old, she said she had identified 5 words that babies say (coming from their bodies' needs and are manifested in their cries), regardless their culture or races.
Here they are:
"Neh" means "I am hungry"
"Eh" means "I need to burp"
"Owh" means "I am sleepy"
"Heh" means "I am experiencing discomfort"
"Eairh" means "I have lower gas"

Scott went "Neh" "Neh" all night when I went "Eh" "Eh" in reply (due to the bloating).

I have made an appointment to check the daycare centre facilities in the area for next week. As suspected the waiting list is about a year at the moment (eeeks...) and I was suggested to put my name down as soon as possible. Not to mention these centres are not really cheaper one from the other. I'd still like to get junior to socialise in early age though - good for his development and my sanity!

Dreams and Emotions
No moody feelings for me, thank God. I hardly feel hormonal or emotional during these months. What I found funny though, is, that even though I dont' feel like crying or yelling during the days, there were nights that I have had dreams where I had very emotional fights with people in which I was very very upset and angry and usually ended up screaming at those people. Had those dreams with mum in it, even my ex boyfriends, but thankfully never with Scott (otherwise I would be very concerned! As a matter a fact, in those dreams where I had emotional upsetting episodes with my exes, I woke up and felt very blessed that I am with Scott and not with them now :D). Certainly the way my body channeling the frustration and emotions in other ways since I never really channel them in the real life.

Week 25 - Yummy mummy

2006-11-19T12:37:00.001+11:00

On the left: Scott and I getting ready for the Chairs for Charity dinner at Flemington Racecourse. Was very proud and slightly surprised that I still have good balance for dancing on those high heels and the big belly!

My body:
Over all I am feeling alright. No complaints except those old ones (but I have made peace with them). I have been told by a few people though, that my belly is puffing like self raising flour. You just left the dough to stand for a few minutes, look away and PUFF it raised like magic.

Some people commented that it looked like I am having a big baby. I did feel humongous last week. And a little uncomfortable with the sturdiness and the fact that it is getting hard to bend over. I know it is a bit early but my envy to big bellies that those soon-to-be mummies have, have disappeared. I just want it to be over. At the same time I think my belly has reached it best shape - from now on it's going downhill (bigger and eventually will look like it is going to explode!)

Honestly, it is such a mixed bag - sometimes I look at my belly and wish I could stay pregnant forever. Other times, it feels like a science project (or as I said before, baking dough) gone wrong and expanding out of control and I wonder how I'll survive another three more months.

My baby:
weighs about 1.5 pounds and measures 8.8 inches from crown to rump (or about 13.5 inches from head to heel). He is becoming stronger as its stem cells continue to develop into bone tissue, and its bones become solid through a process called ossification. Slightly worried about him because he seems to be less active than last week though. Hope everything is fine.

I feel like a yummy mummy this week. There were days when I felt FAT but most of the time I feel good and sexy. Had a look around for photography sessions for pregnancy portrait, but they all are rip off. Ripping off the joy of people's life I think, their job descriptions are! (ask Sharon if you don't believe me, she's getting married next year so she's gone through the motions of finding a photographer and I am sure they mark their price up even worse for weddings!)

This week, finally, it was appeal to me to start looking at baby's stuff, such as nursery and little tiny clothings. I even started to look around for baby day care. It is ludicrous, that people need to book ahead even before the baby is even born (for people that actually want to get back to work after a year off they actually need to book even before they find out they are pregnant!). I do have the luxury of not having to go back to work, and have also realised that my former self has collapsed under the nesting impulse, when I find myself ironing Scott's working shirts. I have also done a lot of washing and cooking and vacuuming (twice within 2 weeks - that's definitely my maternal instinct kicks in)
Anyway, this whole world of parental responsibilities lurking out there - and it is making me a bit nervous. All these thoughts of what might go wrong - what if our son doesn't get a daycare centre on time, what if he ends up in a lame nursery school, where the carers don't care about them and just looking at them while having cigarettes? And what if our son ends up hanging out with the wrong crowd and smoking pots after school - errrrrr.. that might be too far into the future but you get the point!

Am a bit disappointed of myself though. I still haven't started my pregnancy pilates/yoga/exercise that I was planning to do straight away after we move to Melbourne. I had fallen into my comfort zone last week and as a result I felt even more tired and more wasted. There isn't any pilates/yoga places close here that convenient by feet and we're getting tired of waiting for my car to arrive. It's really a lame excuse, I know.. but I just can't be bothered to go if I have to walk or wait for bus half an hour each way.

Finally - U2 concert happened last Sunday. It was fantastic, especially because I hadn't been to any concerts for ages. I am glad I made effort to buy those tickets after I sold the ones for Auckland. Oh and baby didn't seem to mind - he didn't kick as much as I thought he would be but I wonder if that is because he covered his ears and maybe preferred the classical music?)

Week 24 - Finding Forester

2006-11-14T18:42:00.000+11:00

My body:
* Undies are getting too small, not sure if my bum is getting bigger or all my undies have shrunk in the dryer or combination of both.
* Braxton hicks? Well, as always, am not very sure if I did experience the hicks. Braxton Hicks are intermittent contractions of the uterus that some women experience during their pregnancy. They were first described by Dr. John Braxton Hicks in 1872, an English gynecologist, and are often referred to as practice labor because they are thought to help prepare your body for the real deal. Apparently most women notice Braxton hicks contractions in their second half of their pregnancy and in their third trimester in particular. Most of them last between 30 to 60 seconds, often feel like a tightening of the front of your abdomen or pelvis. * Numbness - the blood circulation in the body of course is affected by the pregnancy, and as result I feel numbness on my fingers or feets from time to time. Mostly when I lay down in bed and not moving for a while.
* Just like an old pregnant woman, I started to need Scott's help to move around after getting comfortable or settled for a while in bed or in the lounge. Sometimes he needed to push my back or I need to roll to my side before able to actually standing up or changing my position!

My baby:
Weighs about 1.2 pounds and about 12 inches from head to heel - that is around 30 cm! He's growing for sure!) His lungs have started secreting surfactant, the substance that keeps the moist, interior surface of the lungs from sticking together, and he is practicing breathing. His eyes are also watching for lights and his ears are listenign to the heartbeat and the stomach growl.

While we were on the topics of his hearings, the other day I put an easy listening classical CD on - you know what they say, it is supposed to calm the baby down and stimulate his brain while he is still inside the womb. A few minutes after the music was on, he started to kick. I haven't got any clue whether or not that means he liked the music or hated it (Maybe he prefers top 40 music?)

Also this morning, I was woken up by the sound of a truck blowing his horn. A split second later I felt his movement as if this had startled him as well. He didn't really have a good reflex though, he kicked a bit too long after the horn blew but at least we know he was reacting to sounds!

Pregnancy is a funny thing. It is funny enough having someone (a real person!) growing inside your tummy - and you can't control it. It grows without you have any saying about it. Sharon said last night - it wouldn't sink down in her until she sees me holding the baby in my arm. I almost feel like that too. Sometimes it is real, sometimes it is not.

On Thursday we had a maternity hospital tour at Masada. The lady showed the facilities around. That time it felt real, that I am having a baby - looking at the birthing room made me shiver. When the lady said some women have been in those rooms for a long birth, it dawned to me all the pains and the things that can happen in the labour. Eeeeeeks.....

The other day I was also freaked out by the thought that I AM going to be a mother. And this is it, no turning back! I thought, what if I didn't enjoy being a mother? What if I hated not being free as I was before, or if I wasn't a good mother? So many things that started to sink in as the pregnancy grows. So many worries. And joys at the same time.
I have to say, despite all that, I have been enjoying my pregnancy.

We picked up the new Subaru Forester on friday. How exciting! I got to drive it after dinner at Sharon's on Saturday (pregnant women = designated drivers!) and it was as smooth as. Scott's been like a little boy with his new toy - he went to see the car in the garage before he went to sleep and checking the car out on the way to the shop around the corner (walking!).

Week 23 - Suburbia housewife

2006-11-14T18:16:00.000+11:00

My body:
• Oh waist, where are tho? It’s gone! Mum said I looked much bigger than I was when she first arrived. I think I did finally grow pregnant within the past 4 or 5 weeks. Every week I feel big but the next week when I look at my last week’s picture I can see that I was definitely smaller then. Funny how a week can make a difference (on the scale as well!)
• I have been getting more and more tired easily. Only need to walk for half an hour or so to feel my back aching and the need to sit down. The thing is I walked a lot this week with mum here and we didn't have any car. It's good because we definitely need the exercise but bad because I got very very tired at the end of the day (at least mum cooked dinner every night hehe)

My baby:
weighs a little less than one pound, and is about 8 inches from crown to rump (or about 11.5 inches head to heel). He is continuing to develop facial features, has eyes that open and close, ears that can hear, and a thumb well worth sucking.

Scott’s away the whole week! Glad I have mummy as a company until next Sunday.

Things haven’t been as smoothly as we hoped since we moved here. Nothing had been easy, for example my car still hasn’t arrived – we’ve been waiting for the permit to arrive since 3 weeks ago and it only just arrived a few days ago, we still haven’t got any internet connection (I received an automated phone call yesterday saying: “This is an automated call from Exetel. Your ADSL application has been rejected. For more details or reasons why it is rejected, please visit our website bla bla bla…”, trouble with the health insurance correspondence, the list goes on and on and on.

The suburbian public transportation in Melbourne is crap – crappier than Jakarta since you can actually get a bus literally every 3 minutes in Jakarta (and you can halt it anywhere!). Mum and I are of course forced to take the public transportation to move about during her staying here. I got very cranky with the unreliable system and everything. This afternoon the bus was running late for half an hour, my back hurt and two young lads sitting on the bench didn’t even moved for that half hour, even after I said to mum in a loud voice and in English “I can’t take it anymore. I am pregnant and I need to sit down”. I had to sit down on the pavement!

After three days of walking from dusk til down (hiperbolic!) I started to get worried because baby seemed to be quiet. Would he be distressed because I forced it? Don't know - what I know is that he started to be a Haka warrior again when Scott came home after his trip. Maybe he just missed his father!

Week 22 – Home sweet home

2006-11-13T17:00:00.000+11:00

My body:
• To sum it all: a little tired, a little hungry and a little uncomfortable. I truly get tired very easily, and my back sore very much when I stand or walk too long. As for a little uncomfortable, I freaked out the other day when I can’t really recognize or feel my body anymore. It’s not the same, not the look, not the sense. I feel like I am living in someone else’s body – a borrowed one. Or maybe mine was borrowed? Hope it will be returned to me after bubba is born.

My baby:
Weighs about 11 ounces, measures about 7.6 inches from head to rump (or just under 11 inches head to heel), and is growing eyelashes and eyebrows.

Everyone but mum left on Monday. Mum is staying another 2 weeks here and another week in Sydney with her friend so I employed her to help me with unpacking at the new house.
Yup, we moved in on Tuesday! A comfortable town house with central heating and air conditioning (what more can a pregnant lady who is due in the middle of summer ask?), dishwasher, and own room for bubsie.

I couldn’t get out of the house for 2 days because I just could not leave the house unfinished. On the third day, I gave in and dumped the remaining stuff in baby’s room (still have plenty of time to unpack them before baby arrives – although I am sure this will fly very quickly and I will get panic shortly!)

Scott and I were busy spending money on the house – went crazy! So much we spent already but I keep my mind on perspective: might as well spend now since we won’t be able to spend once baby arrives.

Week 21 Family affair

2006-10-24T11:04:00.000+10:00

My body:
• Finally figured out the pain on my right side of my back, running right down my hip and leg. It is called sciatica, since it affects the sciatic nerve, causing lower back, buttock, and leg pain. It is another of the occupational hazards of expectant mothers.
• Linea nigra (dark line along my tummy) is growing darker – also find freckles around my breasts :D and pigmentation on my skin on certain parts of body.

My baby:
Baby is doing a lot of Haka nowadays now that I have recognised his movements. He gets restless in the evening when I try to get some sleeps, but he's been doing a lot of kicking and punching and kicking and punching! I made Scott put his hand on my bump for nights but he didn’t feel anything. One night we decided to see if we can notice it. And sure enough, a few seconds later something poking out of my tummy for a split second! How exciting!

Weekend with the family
I flew to Sydney on Saturday morning to meet up with mum & dad, my sister and her whole family who are visiting Australia.

It was fun - and at the same time, very tiring to look after 6 people (plus my brother who lives there). Took three times as long to get everyone out of the door or to the door of our destination. As I complaint to my sister about her two young children and how hard it was to organise them, she rolled her eyes at me and said, "you'll see".
Just two days had been enough to make me nervous and realised how hard it would be - I could disagree on some things that she'd done, but of course I might end up doing the same or even worse. I mean, there is not exact science on how to raise kids and from what I can see, it's not exactly a playground where you'd have fun all the time either!

Rianti also filled me in how how to raise dogs - it's her baby at the moment, so we had a funny conversations where we talked about different topics (me on raising kids, and her on dogs) but we carried on as if we were talking about the same thing.You can almost apply what she said about dogs to kids. Dogs are even better in some forms - to start with, they never poo or pee in their own territories, unlike children and their nappies.

I fell in love with my little nephew Joey though. He talks alot now, and smiles all the time (except when he cries and screams like a king), he ran around chasing after pigeons, got very excited in the zoo with all the bears, kangaroos and chimps, and really really liked his public transportation (just a promise of taking him on a bus or train calmed him down!)
Scott said don’t worry I’ll get my own soon.

They were here in Melbourne for 4 nights after their trip to Gold coast. Was so busy taking them around – mainly city (shopping!), little sight seeing to St Kilda, Crown casino, Southbank, Phillips Island (little penguins), and more shopping!

We have started thinking about names – but if you think it’d be easier now we know that it’s a boy (yup, it’s a boy!) you are soo wrong!! Boy’s names are not as easy as girl’s names, most of them are boring or too common, and we never agree on anything.
It reminds me of an episode in Friends where Ross and Rachel could veto other’s suggestion five times and they veto-ed everything that the other suggested that Phoebe said, “Is it just me or Veto started sound like a good name?”
It has actually been going on like a ping pong ball lately when we talked about baby names. He could pop out a name in the middle of the night or when we were watching TV, and I would say “no” and vice versa. Sharon has also been trying to contribute on some suggestions, some are good, but some are hilarious – Ashley is a good name, but not Ashley Bradley or Lee Bradley.
Mum also blurts out some hilarious names since I told her I want an Indonesian name for his middle name – “Baskoro”, “Bambang” (after our president!) and all other old men’s names. I said might as well name him Gatotkaca or Gajahmada if that’s the case!

Week 20 - Let the game begun

2006-10-18T10:15:00.000+10:00

My body:
* We are half way done! Wow! Although from now on tummy will only get bigger and even bigger every day. At these stage (second and third trimester), all the important organs have been developed and baby is mainly growing in size. Which explains a lot why I grew so fast within these past 4 weeks. I started to look pregnant - which I love - except when I feel like I haven't got anything to wear (anymore).
* Heartburn, indigestion, flatulence and bloating come and go as they are pleased. I got hiccups easily after big meal. The growing baby is causing my internal organs to press against my lungs but I have not felt out or short of breath yet.
* Can't get too far from the loo. I need to go approximately every half hour - baby must be pushing my bladder. No matter how much I drink I still have to keep going.
* Backaches - my main complaint nowadays. Apparently the backache is caused by the usually stable joints of the pelvis begin to loosen up to allow easier pasage for the baby at delivery. This, along with the the oversized abdomen, throws the body off balance and to compensate, we tend to bring our shoulders back and arch our neck. It deeply curves lower back, strains back muscles and causes pain.

My baby:
is now about 5.6 to 6.4 inches crown to rump (about 10 inches head to heel) and weighs approximately 9 ounces. He/she is now practicing breathing and swallowing on a regular basis.
His skin is becoming more complex at the end of pregnancy week 20, forming different layers. The epidermis, or surface of his skin now has four layers that contain ridges for fingertips. The layers that form in his palms and feet will provide him with his own unique fingerprint later in life.

About a boy - or a girl?
Tuesday morning we went to get our second ultrasound. This is normally done around the twentieth week and are used to determine the size and position of the fetus, checking anatomy and thorougly examination on the baby. They can uncover any structural abnormalities of bones and organs that are visible by this time.

The most beautiful amazing creature is living in my tummy. It kept moving its hands and feet, but stubbornly not moving its position to make it easier for the sonographer to see the internal organs. All the time its back was against my tummy so the spines was on the way. (Stubborness took after its mummy, possibly).Took awhile to check every organs, but my little one is fine and healthy.

The sonograph asked if we wanted to find out the sex of the baby and we said, "Yes definitely" and the second she said that, I knew what we are going to have.

It is the most amazing experience - even though it was a fifty fifty chance, but when we found out, it's undescribable feeling rushing through my heart (and brain). It was like playing Russian roulette, you know it'd be either red or black but you still wouldn't know which one you'd place the bet on.
It is not a secret but some people prefers not to know our baby's sex - Janelle refused to know while some other (won't name names) probably think the sonographer might as well was wrong, because their guess was wrong.

Now we know the sex of baby, it just became more real. So many things that needed to be think about from now on, the name of the baby to start with. We started throwing names to each other, just to cringe to the other's ideas. Long way to go before we really have to name the baby but I don't think this will be an easy objective to achieve between Scott and I.

Friday 20th October, 2pm.
The second wow of the week: I think bubsie just kicked me!!! Very soft movement in my tummy, it felt more like he had a tiny hiccups in my tummy or maybe a very soft pinch more than anything.
Am sure there will be more coming from now on!

First appointment with the Obstetrician this afternoon. Went very fast (and cost a lot too!). He is not particularly nice or nasty, just very efficient and straight to the point. At least we know he's good, he delivered one of the GP's children (who referred us to him), so we really couldn't get better reference.

week 19 - Pregnant belly

2006-10-12T20:18:00.000+10:00

My body:
* my pregnant belly is really showing. I grow rapidly - faster than a baby hamster. Scott went to Sydney for 3 days and when he came back he reckoned I was bigger than last time he saw me.
* Exercise - or just walk for half hour everyday really makes a difference to my posture. If I didn't do it, my back starts to ache and feels very uncomfortable.
* Strectching of the ligaments and little twitches in my tummy carrying on - suspicious that some of the movements were probably baby's but too insensitive to recognise :P.

My baby:
weighs approximately 7 ounces and is about 5.2 to 6 inches from crown to rump. The exterior layers of skin tissue are developing to form her one-of-a-kind fingerprints. The amniotic fluid that surrounds her allows for the free movement of the arms and legs and is also sometimes swallowed to practice digestion.
Her hearing is developing, and she'll be getting used to the sound of your voice. She will also feel your touch when you massage your abdomen. Little peanut now sleeps and wakes at regular intervals and has started to exercise her lungs and practice her breathing techniques.Tiny teeth are also forming in her gums.

She will begin to recognise my voice and may respond to loud noises or music by making jerky movements possibly showing that whatever she is hearing is too loud and frightening.

Sharon took me to see the wedding band viewing. They were playing in the little studio, and the music was blasting from the big speakers around us. I told Sharon my poor bubsie might be frightened and Sharon said it might be triggering her to kick for the first time. Couldn't feel anything :D - maybe she'll grow up to be a rockstar.

The hospital that we have chosen is called Masada - it is not our first priority but the other one was booked out for March delivery. Eeeks...Australia is really short of hospitals and maternity wards and as a consequence if you gave birth in a public hospital they might put you in a room with 5 other mothers (and their babies!). We drove through the hospital in the weekend and it look like a small nice private hospital, so quite happy with it.

So hot today I was like a dog with my tongue hanging from my mouth. Is it just because I am pregnant that it made me more exhausted, I don't really know. Good timing, Linda. By the time summer is here, I will be big and fat, and roasting!!!!
*It will still be a good reason to be roasting though!*

We are still living off the suitcase, except most of my outfits has been outgrown. Hopefully we get our airfreight boxes in a few days (although I doubt that there will be anything that still fits me!).
We spent the weekend looking for houses to rent again, and also looking for a car. We stll haven't had any luck yet - hopefully next weekend.
Mum & Dad and my sister's family are coming over the week after next and stay here for 4 days so the apartment is going to be (more than) a full house!

Week 18 – Sleepless in Melbourne

2006-10-11T09:54:00.000+10:00

My body:
• The waist keeps expanding but I guess there is no going back from now. As Warren puts it: “Guess what, it is only going to get bigger!” I am looking forward to the day when I will look well and truly pregnant as opposed to a person who has problem with her belly I am now.
• I started to feel tired easily. Very easily. Fortunately my daily schedule is no longer busy anymore – am getting used to easy and relaxing life in Melbourne.
• I must be a freak – I have been having weird and bizarre dreams almost everynight. Once I was a spy, the other time I happened to be at a murder scene, and yesterday I was eating snake meat (and hated it) – I have been looking forward about what I would dream about every night though. Fortunately I haven’t dreamt about eating my baby (which some people did, apparently)

My baby:
is twice as big as he was last month, but he still weighs only about 225 grams. Although things may seem calm on the surface, he is kicking, flexing, reaching, rolling, and even sucking his thumb now. His hearing is now functioning and he will be listening to my heartbeat (How amazing!)

New life again!
It just dawned to me when we arrived at the airport that we are not just here for holiday, we are here to stay!
We are staying in the city for a while until we find a permanent place to stay. It’s a gorgeous 2 bedroom apartment, very spacious and very nice and it’s right in the middle of the city. We rented this two bedroom apartment because my sister said she was going to come with mum and dad but up until now – two weeks before the scheduled trip, nothing had been finalized. Typical. (The apartment is so beautiful that I almost wanted all six of them to come just to show off! The only thing we hated is the agent but it’s a long story.)

Sharon kept me busy with the wedding planning. I went with her to choose her wedding dress, finding the right invitation, etc etc. So exciting that I want to get married again (with my hubby of course!)

On Friday we went to see a GP who was recommended by Sharon and Warren. He patiently explained about the maternity system in Australia and referred us to the ultrasound place for our anatomy scan. Ade had warned me about waiting list in public health service but even with the private one, we had to wait until early November to get appointment! After a few phone calls, I managed to get ourselves a spot for the week after next. Doctor also said we need to decide which hospital we want to go to – and we have to do it quick since it’s already week 19 and people usually went to the obgyn the first time when they were between 8-9 weeks. The problem is of course, we don’t know yet where we want to live let alone choosing the hospital. Also, this hospital will need to be covered by our private insurance and we haven’t made up our mind on which insurance to join. I couldn’t really do research at home because the bloody real estate agent who was supposed to organized our internet connection here (should have been done last week) doesn’t have enough work ethic even to return our calls, and Scott has been so busy at work to do it. It is quite frustrating.

Week 17 - Haera ra Aoteroa!

2006-09-25T08:11:00.000+10:00

My body:
•There is thin line across my tummy from up to top now! They call it linea nigrea, though who knows why it’s there. The only thing they explained about it is, again, this is because of the changes of hormones in my body.
•I had severe headaches at the beginning of the week for a few days. This might relate to something that I eat but also the temperature had been hot so there was a chance that I was dehydrated.

My baby:
is approximately 4.8 inches long and weighs about 3.5 ounces, and he or she should weigh more than the placenta from this point on. Since your baby's hearing has become more finely tuned, he or she may respond to loud noises and supposedly I can feel movement at the sound of large trucks passing or a slamming door (of course I haven't - maybe it's just me that is insensitive). Epidermal (skin) and fatty tissue are developing all over the baby's body to protect it after it is born and a substance called vernix is beginning to form on the skin tissue to protect it from the long exposure to amniotic fluid.

This is it. Our last week in New Zealand. It finally sank it that we are moving OUT of this country, might never come back (but hopefully we will!) and all the goodbyes to friends and places that we have become familiar with.

Monday:
My last day of working! For another 2 years!!! WOOO HOOOOOOO. Scott said if that wouldn't make me happy then he wouldn't know how to make me happy - I said I am worried about having to justify buying another pair of shoes for my self for another 2 years.
(Might try to see if I can get a contracting job in Melbourne before baby pops out but doubt it as I will start be showing.)
Had a terrible headache in the evening. It might be because of the chocolate brownie that I ate in the afternoon.
Went to pick up the car at the mechanic – it cost a fortune! I was pretty upset because with that amount of money, we really should have sold the car and get a newer one in Melbourne. But at this stage we couldn’t do anything but go ahead with the plan and ship the car with the rest of the furniture (which initially shouldn’t cost us anything since the company is paying for the shipment and the tax)

Tuesday:
I was into the (spring) cleaning and de cluttering all morning – done a big job sorting out books and little tidbits that we want to throw away. The problem was that we didn’t really know where to throw away 3 boxes of old text books (not that we feel right to throw away books as well). I rang secondhand bookshops but none of them do textbooks so Scott decided to throw them away at the waste paper bin at his work.

Farewell dinner at Non Solo Pizza in Parnell with Scott’s work. They gave Scott a kiwi with All Black costume photo holder to be put at his desk. The story behind it was that Scott had always lost betting Australia to the All Black during the rugby season and always ended up buying bottles of wine for the other who backed All Black. They said if Scott put that All Black photo holder on his desk in Melbourne people will think that he’s backing All Black and can get all the wine back from them.
As for me, I got a little cute teddy bear with All Black costume for my little peanut so he will know that he has a bit of Kiwi in his blood.

Wednesday:
I still had the biggest headache ever that I rang the midwife. She said chances are everything is ok –have a lot of water and if it still didn’t fix it, see a GP.

The weather has been gorgeous (sunny and not a cloud in the sky). Isn’t that typical, just when we are about to leave, rain finally stopped and was replaced with warm weather - spring has finally sprung!

Thursday:
I was going to get the car washed through the drive-through carwash but it was closed so I had to wash it myself – big mistake. I shouldn’t have been allowed to wash my car! What a waste of money – I spent so much coins to make sure that I did proper job, but once I got home I could see all the patches on the car that I missed cleaning.
Scott said it definitely needed to be cleaned again because it needed to be spotless for the immigration! Grrrrh… Waste of time and my energy.

Friday
Removalist arrived today – lovely hubby happened to forget to tell me about this change of plan! (They were going to come tomorrow). All went well though all they left us were the bed and the set of drawers – packed the rest of the things. They left the table where they put our laptop but then packed the chair!!
This poor pregnant woman had to sit on the floor for the rest of the night not able to do anything else but browsing internet! We couldn’t even watch TV since they packed both of them. Had to go out for dinner at Mission Bay – for the last time, sniff sniff. We chose the Italian restaurant that we had never been, and it was terrible. Food was not very nice and incredibly expensive.

During the day Scott came and picked me up so we can drive my car off at the Depot. The trip took forever since it was on the other side of the city, and the customer service made us fill in the immigration form at the last minute (Scott was getting nervous at that time since he’s been away from work more than 1.5 hours). To make things worse, we also had to return the number plate to the testing station and get de-register, but they couldn’t take off the plates from the car! We decided to go back there tomorrow morning to pick them up.

Saturday
Moving day! We were up by 8am but the removalist didn’t come until before 10am. We both got a bid edgy because we needed to drive all the way to the Depot to pick up the number plates and get registered. Fortunately it all worked out fine and when we got home they had almost finished with the moving. We still had to wait for the cleaners to come in though to clean the house thoroughly, and to say goodbye. Thought the job is over? Well, not really. The real estate agent said that we need to see her to sign on the bond release form this afternoon. All this never-ending little jobs that they only tell you at the last minute!

It was really hard packing clothes for the first 4 weeks in Melbourne when you pregnant, as you don’t know how big you are going to end up in a few weeks.

Anyhow, we went to see Birgit, Stefan and little Daniel before taking off to say our goodbyes (hate goodbyes!).

Checked in at Heritage hotel. This was the hotel that we stayed at the first time we went to Auckland almost 2 years ago. Very posh and expensive house but our room was crap! Maybe all are just signs that we really need to get out of this country! :P

Our last night was spent at Bombay Hill, for Phil’s 40th birthday party. Good weather, good companies, big bon fire, we even had hangi (traditional Maori feast) for dinner making it a nice way to spend the last night. Everyone had promised to come so it’s not like goodbye.

We’ll miss this place – and promised ourselves that we will be back here with the little one!

Week 16 - Bad Week!

2006-09-18T14:59:00.000+10:00

My body:
* I hate it! I hate it!! I put on weight faster than a rocket - around 1/2 kg per week. Don't know how it happens but it does. What makes things worse it that I haven't really watch what we're eating as well - one night it's pizza, the other day it's hamburger - it's just the things I craved for, plus I still couldn't be bother to cook. Also because this is our second last week we are busy having farewell dinners and getting free meals - do you think I slow down on that?
* Sore back - every morning when I get up, it felt like I have been sleeping on nails.
* I also have been getting this twicthing feelings down my tummy - It might be the that the uterus is strecthing out preparing for the baby growth but apparently at this age it might be the baby kicking and about!
All and all I feel unattractive the whole week!

My baby:
is about the size of an avocado now but in the next three weeks, he'll go through a tremendous growth spurt — doubling his weight and increasing his length. In the meantime, he'll be playing with his umbilical cord and practising breathing by inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid through his lungs.

On Monday, we went to the second visit to the midwife - we told her that we were moving to Melbourne in two weeks so she didn't actually perform the test which initially to be done today and said it could be done later!
Aaargh.. Why why it can never be right with these people?

Enough winging. Can't really be complaining because everything is fine, apparently.

My little peanut is a big baby apparently - according to the midwife. When she touched my tummy, she said "Wow. The Baby is really growing fast!"
Me: "Oh really? Wow that's a relief. I have been thinking it's just my tummy since I have a very healthy appetite now"
Her: "No, you can feel the size of your womb and it's quite big."
Scott (jumped into the conversation): "Well, I guess we're having a big Australian baby - not a tiny Indonesian one"

(PS. Told mum about it and she said hope baby wouldn't be too white/bule or people will start thinking that I am just the Philipino nanny. PPS. Scott argued that western people don't think like that but they might think that I am a philipino bride by mail!!!!!)

Then we heard the baby heartbeats again.
Her: "Are you going to find out the sex?"
Me: "Yes. Definitely."
Her: "There is an old wives tale which predicts the sex of the baby from the signs. And this is quite a fast heartbeat so it might be a BOY"
(Scott grinned very wide at this point)
Scott: "I've got a psychic aunty who said this is going to be a boy"

Scott aunty, Kerry, a self-proclaimed pshychic woman apparently said to one of her colleagues that he was expecting a baby which was due in March and it's going to be a boy. And this man was obviously a bit confused about what she was talking about (not sure if he was expecting any baby) but anyway, this was before Kerry found out about us. When she did, she figured that her premonition was all about us after all.

Although talking about psychic, Rianti and James reckon it's going to be a girl - but can't give any reasons why they think of that (maybe they are two of a kind? :P). I don't think they are particularly psychic and honestly, it's not a hard guess isn't, it's either a her or a him!

Scott is convinced that I shouldn't take any drug during the labour because anything given to me can be passed to the baby through the placenta. Baby gets weary until the drug is worn out, and also the mother doesn't recover as quick because of the drug effect (drowsy and weary). Eeks.. I said I'd think about it. At the moment my ground is we'll try but I am not ruling out drugs - if I need it then I NEED it!

Bad week!

I am not having a good week. Wednesday morning was such a bad morning. Started with having to go back to the house twice to get water for my radiator, and then realising I forgot the laptop (I guess it's good that I remember before I hit the road but it;s still annoying) and then I 'bumped' into other car when I parked the car and this Witch who was there screamed at me "What are you doing? You hit my car.."
bla bla bla. It was such an innocent bump, but it is my fault! I shouldn't be allowed to drive while pregnant - very very careless. This is quite normal though, pregnant women are known to loose their sense of judgmental and also sometimes get brain fog and becoming absentminded.

Also, I've been meaning to get my tooth fixed but I got so lazy and ended up not having able to do it because of the pregnancy. Then the filling just fell off! I went to the dentist but they only gave me temporary filling because they need an xray to give me a crown - which they couldn't do because I am pregnant. This means I will need to fork out my own money for crowing in Melbourne instead of covered by our expatriate insurance here.
Lesson to learn: Never procrastinate.

Week 15 - I am ballooning!

2006-09-11T08:00:00.000+10:00

My body:
* I think my body is adjusting alright now. I still get sick from time to time but not all the time, thank God for that. I have been feeling so much better - I actually could (and do) change TV channel when it starts showing Home and Away! My couch is no longer my sanctuary, but I still looove our bed (I have always had this infactuation with bed so this is not due to the pregnancy but just because I love my beauty sleep!). And because now I am pregnant, Hubby lets me sleeps in as long as I like - am like a Queen!
* As you can see from the pictures, my waistline has been expanding from sometimes now. I am not very sure whether this is classified as bubbie bump already or if it is my fat storage (more likely!)as baby is only about 1.75 ounces (see below: my baby)
Rrr.. my jeans that were okay last week (in fact they were one size too big in my other life) are now suddenly too tight.

My baby:
weighs about 1.75 ounces and is about 4 to 4.5 inches in length. His or her heart is growing strong and, even though it is little, it is pumping between 20 and 25 quarts of blood every 24 hours. By the time for delivery, baby's heart will be circulating up to 300 quarts of blood every 24 hours. Many fetuses develop their future hairline pattern this week, although it can take quite a bit longer for some babies' hairline or hair to fully develop.

As the result of trying to make the best of our last 3 weeks here, we decided to drive to Raglan yesterday. It's the famous surfing beach where the international surfing competition is held annually.
It took 3 hours to get there because we did a bit of sight-seeing detour and refused to use the motorway. Got there hours later, it was windy & cold, and I had already been fainting with hunger and had a very severe headache. What a way just to get fish and chips.

The other day I was adamant to use my favourite pants, only to find myself fainting and regretting it the whole day (although I felt better after I undid the buttons) . Well I was going to say goodbye to prematernity clothings and so long tight jeans, short skirts, and body hugging tops already, but then Scott said I should buy the belly belts. So today, I went to the Baby Factory and got myself that, which to be put around your waist to expand your pants/skirts waistline. What a clever invention! And saving me from wearing those maternity clothes for another month or so at least (but they are not cheap.. oooh noo.. baby is expensive!)

Another example of social life downhill for me: Had a hen's party on Saturday (Mia's getting married in Fiji in 3 weeks time), started with lunch (no alcohol for me!) and then went to the local stripbar (closed for us, it's too early anyway to be open) to learn how to pole dance. I was really looking forward for this, until about 2 weeks ago it dawned to me I might not be able to do it. Surely enough, it is 'not recommended for pregnant women'. Damn! Even looking at them was so much fun - although it looked ridiculously difficult that even I can see what a big exercise it is for the tummy muscle. Anyway, they continued on to the bridesmaid place, have drinks and nibbles and strip dancing. Thinking that it would be boring for me (without any alcohol) I went home and stayed home - alone, while hubby and his bestfriend from Australia were out and about the city. Help I am turning into a boring pregnant wife that I promised myself I wouldn't turn into when I got pregnant!

Week 14 - Second trimester

2006-09-04T09:47:00.000+10:00

My body:
* Well, morning sickness was almost almost gone - except for two days in the middle of the week where I was sick all day!
* I am not so tired anymore this week and surprise surprise I didn't belch as much as the previous weeks.
* On the other side, my appetite has grown so much. I have been eating like a MONSTER. This might be because I finally enjoy what I am eating. The other night we had Indian! I thought I had gone off the taste of the spices and cream in the curry but I enjoyed it so much.
* Severe headaches - I have been getting very bad headaches lately. Apparently this is normal. Pregnancy headaches are most commonly the result of hormonal changes, fatigue, tension, hunger or physical and emotional stress.

My baby:
weighs almost one ounce, and is 3 to 4 inches in length. Your baby's bladder is beginning to function and, believe it or not, your baby actually begins urinating. In fact, although doctors are not really sure how or where your baby's urine is produced, they do know it is one component of the amniotic fluid, which regenerates itself every 3 to 4 hours.

My beloved friend Gita sent me this txt this morning (she just had a baby a month ago): People said "congrats, ur life'll never b d same again", n it's so7x trus. So linda, move ur bump, do whatever u wanna do NOW, forget the sickness, its only in ur mind!

At the moment the surge of panic attack is overwhelming me. So many things that I wanted to do, and still haven't done them. Which is why I was so annoyed when I missed the auction for U2 tickets in Melbourne on Trademe (NZ Auction website) because we slept in! Aaargh. Thing is, we were going to see them here but because the show is in November, I had to sell the tickets. I sold them for quite a good price actually and I was hoping I can get these particular ones with seats - just in case, you see.. I'll be 5 1/2 months pregnant when the concert will be on.

Anyhow.

Lani stayed with me for 3 nights while Scott was away for work to Melbourne. On the last night Jacs came along for dinner - Birgit meant to come as well but cancelled it at the last minute saying she wasn't feeling well. Sure enough, the next day she gave a birth to Daniel Thomas!
We went to see them and the baby on Saturday on the way to dinne with Scott's supplier. Such a tiny little thing! I had this nervous feeling when I held him in my arms (I mean, he was only 2 days old, very helpless and as Scott put it, two days ago he was still in his mother's womb and everything is all brand new to him and he wouldn't know what's going on!). Scott was more natural about it. He's got this good fatherly instinct that I am soo proud of - I think he's ready to look after baby and be a good father!

I've sent email to people at work this week telling them that we are leaving to Melbourne and that we're expecting a baby. This came from Megan - and I think it's really true!!
You took that leap of faith when you upped and left and sometimes if our gut
keeps telling us something isn't right, or things just won't seem to work
out no matter how hard we try, it can turn out to be a blessing in disguise
if we follow that instinct and let life just take it's course. Which is what
you did and look how well it worked out!

First day of Spring

2006-09-03T18:11:00.000+10:00

It is the first of september - the first day of Spring.

And the weather is just like what it is - Spring. Beautiful sun, blue sky, warm weather. It feels like the season takes sudden turn.

It's also the new hope for me. I woke up and my sickness was gone - puff. Out the window - gone with the winter wind! Exactly 13 weeks of my pregnancy, no more no less. I can breathe normally without worrying about the smell, I can move so freely without the motion sickness pain, and the tiredness is all gone! No more slumping in the couch anymore!

I might enjoy the rest of pregnancy from now own (unless if my neurotism gets the better of me *grin*). I AM A NEW WOMAN!

Week 13 - Thumb up!

2006-08-30T16:17:00.000+10:00

My body:
* Whoever said I'd feel better after 12 weeks, come forward please so I can beat you up! My evening sickness is still pretty much happening every day. Most of the afternoon I would slump down on the couch by 5pm, can't even move to greet my husband who comes home from work. I have started watching Home and Away (eeeks.. well I try not to watch it but most of the time I would be too sick even to change the channel that I just watch it anyway. Although don't worry, I am still not following the plots and don't know what's going on. Didn't even know a character from the show :P).
We would have dinner (as early as 7pm) and I would slump back to the couch after that until it's time to go to bed (although most of the time I fall asleep on the couch anyway).
* Some predicts it's going to be a boy. This is due to the fact that I have made the sofa as my sanctuary and sink there most of the time without any desire to do anything. Dishes and laundry accumulate before my eyes. I am even too lazy to dress up. Apparently baby boy makes you lazy (can't see any correlations but as long as I can blame my laziness to something else, I am happy.)
* This just came to my attention - I belch like a man/pig now. I am not denying that I belch and burp in my previous life (as unpregnant woman) but it looks like I can't really control it anymore. It doesn't matter though, with so much gas in my tummy, every burp is like sent from heaven.

You live, you learn. My lesson for this week is that a)I am not very good in delivering good news and b) it is not easy to keep your social life when you're pregnant in your first trimester.

I have gone about telling people about my pregnancy. I had been planning to tell some friends here about my pregnancy, but I told them "we should catch up because I have some news" so when we told them about the news, they have already suspected it.

This was held during a course of a meal, which during that time I was constantly feeling sick and just wanting to go home and lay down (but could't do that either when we got home because one of them was staying with us that night)

I also told some people from old work that we are expecting, and that we should catch up before we're moving to Australia when in realities it might never happened. Blame it to the pregnancy, it's a social-life downhill for us mothers to be.

Wednesday 30 August,

Our first ultrasound scan. We went for the Nuchal Translucency test today, where they checked the thickness of baby's neck in corelation with my age and the size of the baby to see what is the risk of chromosome abnormality, in particular Down syndrome. It is an elective test, but we wanted to make sure everything is okay so we decided to go along. Plus, we got to see the baby way earlier than we would normally have (which is around week 16-18).

The baby is soo small - he's 7cm long which made it 13 weeks and 1 day according to their calculation.
The result was fine - the thickness was way under what the concern would be.

But holy cow, it's amazing to see this little thing moving around in my tummy. He's soo beautiful! He moved around so fast and so active (although I can't really feel it since it's still too early and he's still too small), one second his legs were kicking and the other second he wiggled his thumbs as if saying, 'dont worry mum, here I am, everything is fine!' We could see his eyes and his face although it wasn't really clear and I don't think it has shapened completely yet.
The heartbeats were captures as blinking motions on the monitor.

When we got home I told Scott that maybe it wasn't the baby thumb that we saw (since it was too early to tell the sex) and Scott said, "do you think Bob (he doesn't want to call the baby Steve anymore, incase we grow accustomised with the name) was wiggling his p***s in his hands?"

(unfortunately the pics are being sent to the midwife so I can't show them here until my next appointment with the lady)

"We are not a couple anymore. We are now a triple," my husband said when we were home.

Week 12 - The sweetest sound

2006-08-21T14:45:00.000+10:00

My body:
* I am constantly thirsty. I think this is my body telling me I need to keep hydrated. I didn't really drink enough water up until last week but now I have to have my water by my side.
* My weight has gone up a little (under different circumstances I would have been panic) and my waist definitely growing (maybe because my weight has gone up?)
* Woo hoo.. Boobsie are not sore anymore. Although they won't stop growing until about 6 months into pregnancy.
* The metallic taste in my mouth is gone, but I still feel nauseaus from time to time.
* More tired this week - This weekend I got up at 10am, had a nap at 3 and was ready for bed at 9pm.

My Baby
Weighs about 14 grams and is about 2-1/2 inches in length. Her reflexes are functioning, and the digestive tract is active and secreting bile - all to prepare your baby for life outside of your body. Stem cells, the "mother cells" that will become heart, brain, liver, bone, blood, nerve, and immune cells, continue to differentiate to form baby's major organs. Although baby's brain continues to grow, the components now have the same structure they will have at birth. If your OB or midwife uses a fetal Doppler, you may be able to listen to your baby's heartbeat many moms-to-be are amazed by how fast it is. This may be the sweetest sound you have ever heard.

It was indeed the sweetest sound!
The midwife put the doppler scan on my tummy and suddenly there it is!! My baby's heartbeat. Throbbing through out the speaker. Very clear.
It was a very very emotional moment. I didn't even realise that I had tear coming out of my eyes.
Her heartbeat was very strong, twice as fast as regular one. The midwife said it's because she's only small she works hard and it takes a lot to pump the blood into the system.

It suddenly became real. Everything, that I am going to be a mother, that we are going to be parents. Scott said it just made his life listening to her heartbeat.

I had my concerns about the alcohol that I consumed before I found out I was pregnant, unfortunately the midwife wasn't really assuring. She said so many factors depend on it and she said she could not say if it's okay but everyone drinks before they know they are pregnant. But then she also said, they said if something is to happen, it happens on day 21. Which was exactly when I was drinking.
I am super duper paranoid. I am aware there's nothing that we can do - fingers crossed and hope for the best but I'll be worrying about it the whole pregnancy!

It's just it's so true what people said about wanting the best for your kids, but I never realised that it would start from even before she is born.

I've been soo lucky and so blessed, we've been happy, we've got everything we wanted. We are very very lucky. But I couldn't keep questioning in my mind, does this mean something bad is bound to happen?
I think it's time to stop worrying and start being grateful of all the good things that happened to us :D

HOT PRESS

2006-08-21T14:35:00.000+10:00

Rianti just adopted a pup and called her Zoe!!
Hi hi hi.. So much for persuading Scott to call our daughter Zoe. Definitely dog's name.
That's it!

Week 11 - Exotic baby

2006-08-16T11:41:00.000+10:00

My body:
* Early this week I thought I finally got rid of my morning sickness - but I lied. It came back in Wednesday or so. I spent the weekend laying in the couch not able to move an inch.
* I feel more tired than usual, but it's probably because I am working
* Craving for exotic fruits: pineapple, manggo, etc (maybe the baby will be exotic). I am still very picky with what I eat and definitely can't cook yet. Been eating very plain and bland food like porridge and the like this whole week, athough my appetite is a bit better -I might have already put on some weight!

My baby:
is now fully formed — measuring 1 1/2 inches long and weighing in at a quarter of an ounce. His skin is still transparent, allowing many of his blood vessels to show through. Some of his bones are beginning to harden, and tiny toothbuds are starting to appear under his gums. His fingers and toes have separated, and he may soon be able to open and close his fists. He's already busy kicking and stretching, and his tiny movements are so fluid they look like water ballet. These movements will increase as his body grows and becomes more developed and functional. As his diaphragm develops, my tiny tenant may also start to get the hiccups. Because he's still so small, though, you won't feel any of his workouts or intrauterine gulps until sometime between weeks 16 and 20.

I am working for two weeks. Dragging my sorry ass every morning in the cold winter weather, no parking available so usually have to walk ten to fifteen minutes walk to the office from where I usually park - one way! The only good thing about it is that I am forced to take my 30 minutes exercise everyday.

Of course it is because I am lazy. It's an okay job - being an account executive for another ad agency, which is not as boring as my other temp job and it pays a lot better.

I am working from this girl's email - her name is Zoe. I always like that name, sometimes I wish my name was Zoe and when I was travelling in Europe a few years ago I sometimes told people that my name was Zoe. When I sent email to Scott he said, 'I always like Zoe's name, why does it have to be the name of my exes boss dog?'. Scott used to work at this cafe for this very nervous and agitated man who owns a dog called Zoe. He said he will always associate that name with the dog. Bummer! We've got a nice name for a girl but now Scott is changing his mind because it belongs to a famous Hollywood actress and he doesn't want to be told that we're trend affected.

I see pregnant people...
I see pregnant people. Walking around as if they don't know they are pregnant. Well mm.. not really. But I've seen soo many birth scene on tv for the past week, and everytime I saw it I nearly winced. Then Gita told me detailed descriptions on how it feels in the labour! Damn you Gita, now I have to sleep with it.

Another show that I have taken interest in watching is.. Supernanny. It is a show about a nanny who comes to the rescue for the families who could not handle their kids. The show had been putting me off (because most of the children are super trouble - or maybe I should say it's their parents who don't know how to handle it)but now I have to watch it and see if I can learn from it.
I know it's still a long way away but the more you watch, the more you will learn, am I right?

Week 10 - Guessing game

2006-08-08T08:03:00.000+10:00

My body:
* I still can't smell things and I have forgotten how it feels not to feel sick - can't wait for this to be over. Apparently they said it will go PUFF - just like that - on the 12th week. But so far the following things that I can't stand include: olive oil, raw vegetable & raw meat (no supermarket!), my husband's smell (poor thing!!), curry, meat, the fridge, our home (!!) but not limited to that. Morning sickness is more to evening thing for me - been going to bed at around 9pm because lying down helps me with that motion sickness feeling.
* I crave for fruits, looking at fruits section in the supermarket makes my mouth watering - and I have never eaten so much fruits in my life before!
* Incredibly sexy boobsies - and they are still growing. Errrr.. look only not touch, they are as sore as being constantly pricked by needles all over them.
* My jeans got suddenly very tight around the waist. Although my weight hasn't gone up yet and the book said it's most likely gas & constipation that reside in there, not the baby yet.

My Baby:
Baby is somewhere between 1 and 1-1/2 inches in length and probably weighs about 4 grams (or as much as 4 paper clips). He or she has lips, toes, eyes that are usually open, ears that are completely formed, and the genitals are becoming more clearly defined. The little pollywog has lost its "tail" and this week marks the end of the embryonic stage and the beginning of the fetal stage!

This week I got paranoid about the long hot shower that I have been taking - it's bloody winter here, how am I supposed to go through without long hot showers? I knew you're not allowed to take hot bath/pool/sauna/spa and the likes because increasing your body temperatur to more than 38.9 degree and keep it there for a while may harm your baby. I am always under impression that hot shower wouldn't cause that, but suddenly I got this panic attack and spent houuurs google-ing trying to find out right information - which is of course, in the era of global and free information, you can never know which one is the correct one. Will have to ask my midwife next week.
I am still worried about other things, think I will only stop worried after we hear the first heartbeat and when I am sure baby is fine.
Poor midwife, bet she didn't know what kind of neurotic mum to be that she's getting!!

I told my agent about us moving to Melbourne in October and she was fine about it. In fact she put me through for an interview this morning for a contracting job - I was supposed to pretend that it is still a possibility that we are moving in October, but I forgot! I told them that we are definitely moving in October so they might not want me because i can only offer about 2 months contract.

The next day I got a call from her saying that they want me for initially 2 weeks - yay! But as I started my first day I realised that I have gotten very comfortable and lazy after my long 8 weeks of doing nothing, I just wanted to stay home and put my feet up. (So chances are they will keep me only for 2 weeks *grin*)

Friends are speculating on the sex of my baby already. Irene & Arti said it's a boy because I don't really get that sick (apparently having baby girl caused high hormone fluctuation, so the fact that I am not so sick means it's a boy), and because I got lazy (honestly - this can't really be justified because I think I am lazy by nature). Rianti bet it is a girl - without any strong argument about it.

It has started to sink in though - we are going to have baby! Life is not going to be the same again. There will be three of us instead of two of us, no more sleeping in, no more take it easy. Everything needs to be planned now, because there is another human being that we will need to look after and think about.

I can't wait!

Week 9 - Breaking the news to friends

2006-08-01T09:45:00.000+10:00

Did I really complain the other day that I didn't feel pregnant enough?

Well, that was a lie!!! I have almost had enough of all the symptoms.

This is a little insight on how you feel when you're pregnant: Everything smells horrible.

When everything smells, you can't really eat but you know if you don't eat then you'll feel sick. Very sick. Then you start eating every hour even though you don't want to and you are not very sure if that actually helps you in anything - except putting on weight.

Another thing is.. I can't stand my husband. Suddenly he is using wrong soap, wearing wrong perfume. He just doesn't smell right (had to go to supermarket and get him a new soap bar)

Wednesday was my birthday and I thought it would be a good time to break the news to my closest friends. Course, no one is actually live in the same city as me so I had to break the news via email! Their responses were all different but it took them by surprise. Rianti forgot to tell me happy birthday (overshadowed by unborn baby already!!) and Sharon still couldn't get over it. When last time I saw them 2 months ago, I had technically been pregnant even though we didn't know that (I had my suspicions though).

The week is getting even crazier. I had one good interview and I think I am very close to getting a job. They want me to come back for second interview - which mainly is going to see how my presentation is, since the client is in Australia and these people think I have a bit of accent which worries them (Dooh!!).

But then Scott told me he got a job promotion and we'll be moving to Melbourne in October!!

Eveything definitely falls into places. I started to feel that everything is meant to be - from me quiting the job before the holiday, then came home finding the place burglared (that made us think that we're almost ready to go home), then finding out we're pregnant (and we always want to have baby in Australia) then he got this job!!! It's all too exciting!

Bloody hell, the only thing I am not looking forward is telling my agent that I will need to pull out from the job market. She's been very active in finding me interviews, and I turned her down once last year and she wasn't happy. I am sure she wouldn't be very happy either now that I am very close in finding something. Aargh, not to mention that she must be the most vicious lady in the recruitment industry.

Week 8 - Sweet cravings

2006-08-01T08:36:00.000+10:00

I am a cookie monster. Can't stop eating sweets - am hunting every chocolate in the house... I had to eat some of Rianti's personalised M&M's from her wedding because we didn't have any chocolate at home the other day (with her permission. She actually was wondering why I hadn't eaten them, and I told her I couldn't possibly eat something with her name on it.)

I am sure I have a baby bump - Scott said it's impossible, I think he might be right too given my eating habits nowadays. (although the book said it is possible, especially when you start with slender petite body and small amount of fat to cover your womb! But the book also said it might be because your tummy is full of gas & constipation (ewww....) and also might be because you put on weight too much!)

Finally went to a doctor on Friday. I had a blood test to check my immune system and iron and all, also to check if I am 'well and truly pregnant', since I complaint that I don't think I was sick enough, that I was tired enough to be pregnant.
She said if I didn't hear from them that mean everything is good. Except then I remembered that I didn't actually fill in any patient information record the other day. I had to ring them today to make sure that they had my details. Fortunately they did, they said they must have put it in the system when I made my bookings.
Well hopefully I won't hear anything from them.

Also finally rang National Women's Health Hospital to find out if there's any midwives that can look after my pregnancy. Gave them my details, and the lady on the other side said, "Thank you, the midwife will contact you within 2 weeks." Whaaat??
Glad I rang them now instead of next week!

Tue 25 July
Went to work assignment today. How horrible! I was sitting there minding the phone - except it didn't ring a lot and most of the time doing nothing. Internet didn't work, I dont' know why. They didn't give me any other works. My back was sore sitting all day and I couldn't distract my mind on anything else - so I felt sick all day.

They wanted me to come back the next day, but I made up my mind not to. I had to tell fibe to the agent by saying I have other assignment somewhere else. And the great thing about being pregnant is, Scott didn't have any saying about me not continuing my job (it's only a day anyway!). Although I did wonder myself, if I was just purely lazy.

Doctor rang and said I had a very high iron level. Which was fine during the pregnancy, but it was very high that she wants to make sure that it was correct so I had to do another test - when I had my blood test last week the lady at the lab was soo useless. Had to prick the needles into both of my arms, and still couldn't get enough blood. Needless to say, I won't be going back there again this time.

Email from Karen, Scott's sister:

Congratulations again. That's lovely news. Very exciting. I hope it all
goes well for you both :)

I told the kids last night and they were over the moon with excitement. As
I said, they frequently ask when you're going to have a baby. When I got
off the phone, Chloe said - mum why did you say congratulations? And I
said "guess" and she said - they won the lotto - and I said no - and then
she had another guess (cant remember what that was), and then she guessed
the baby. And they all squealed and Chloe said that was the first thing I
was thinking and hoping but thought no it wont be.

Week 7 - Where did they go?

2006-07-27T16:14:00.000+10:00

I got up this morning feeling fine - Too fine in fact. My boobsies stopped growing overnight, I didnt feel sick when I woke up this morning. I am so worried. As the day passed I gradually felt a bit sicker but I am still not convinced.

I am having trouble finding the maternity carer as well. Turned out in New Zealand only the appointed Leading Maternity Carers can look after the pregnancy. It can be a midwife, a GP or an obstetrician. If it's midwife or a GP then all of your expenses are free. But turned out that many GPs are not providing maternity care anymore, and there are only so many of midwives that they are overbooked too. Many of the obstetricians offer fixed price to look after the pregnancy from the antenatal to the postnatal care, including birth. But the problem is, we don't know where we are going to be for the birth. Yet.

I rang a medical centre yesterday only to talk to an idiot who didn't have any clue about what's going on.

This is how it went:
Me: "I am looking for a lady doctor to look after my pregnancy."
Him: "Oh, we're pretty busy at the moment. You just want to have a pregnancy test, do you? Any nurse can do it, I can recommend you to go to the Accident and Emergency Clinic down the road."
Me: "Sorry, you misunderstood. I know I am pregnant. I have had a test. I need someone to look after my pregnancy, I don't need any test"
Him: "Oh i see. I'll have to check with the doctor if any of them can give you an appointment. So you just want the doctor to check the baby, don't you? Or do you need consultation yourself?"
Me: "Hang on. I am confused, I think you're confused. There isn't any baby yet. I am pregnant. I need consultation, not the baby"

Aaargh.

Ergo the quest for the doctor continues...(he actually said he was going to ring me back but it's already 24 hours and I haven't heard from him.)

PS. Suddenly everyone talks about baby and our plan about having one - and I had to keep my mouth shut. We're not telling anyone at least until I see a proper doctor.

19 July (wed) Gita had a baby yesterday but when I asked for details she asked me if I was sure I wanted to know the details. It'd put you off, she said. I said, of course I need details. It's part of the considerations".

Week 6 - Symptom anyone?

2006-07-27T16:13:00.000+10:00

"How about Steve?"
"Pardon?"
"or Shirley if it's a girl"

It was passed midnight, and I was half asleep already but he made me giggle.

"I haven't heard anyone called their children Steve or Shirley lately."

It's only our week 6 and he already is thinking about names?

Well, I haven't even got any symptoms at all. It's either I am not pregnant at all or I wasn't pregnant anymore.
I am not complaining about not having the morning sickness and the tiredness but I am worried, you know. How come I don't feel tired when my body, that when it's resting supposedly works harder than a non-pregnant person doing mountain climb?(aparently during the early weeks of pregnancy, the body is working hard - pumping out hormones and producing more blood to carry nutrients to the baby)

Now, it's normal to be worried. Everyone is worried when they are pregnant, especially when it is your first one. You just want everything to go well. But honestly, I am sure there isn't other mother-to-be as neurotic as me - given I am neurotic by nature, even before I got pregnant. I am worried about practically everything!

And what about food? I don't think us pregnant people are allowed to eat anything, Like today I just found out that green tea is actually not good for the cell growth - when I have stopped drinking normal tea and start drinking green tea because I thought it would be healthier. And breakfast? I don't normally have breakfast in the morning but since I found out I was pregnant I started to eat muesli and yoghurt (you know, good combination of protein and calcium) and found out that there were track of nuts in the muesli, which is should be avoided so baby don't get peanut allergy.

We went to the bookshop in the weekend to get the book "What to expect when you're expecting" and as Scott lined up at the cashier, a man behind him said to him: "I think the answer (to what to expect when you are expecting) is TROUBLE". And as it was not enough, he launched a speech about no baby was perfect, asking if this would be Scott's first, and that he didn't know what he's getting himself into (eeer..... just leave us alone, will you!)

Week 5 - the thin pink line

2006-07-07T11:29:00.000+10:00

We're pregnant.

I knew it even before we took the test, before the second think pink line appeared in the result window. I knew it even a week ago, before my period was late, when we were back home for holiday, when my family and friends (and nosy people) were asking us about when we were going to have baby. Even at Rianti's wedding when Sally my best friend remind me that I told her that I might be pregnant for the wedding.

(We've been married for 3 years, you see. So people have been wondering which one of us was barren. The thing is, even when we decided to start trying for a baby 3 months ago, I was not even convinced that we're ready. Scott also thought we should wait a few more months. I had so much stress at work and I hated my job so bad so I thought this is the time to change priority and we should try for a baby . Whereas Scott wanted me to be happy first before we start a family and he didn't want me to use this excitement to have baby as a way out from my (work) misery - so there were nights at the beginning when we had a fight because I refused to take my pills, and Scott insisted that I had to.)

This week has been full-on, big week. Not only I came home from holiday on my own 2 nights ago (Scott were staying in Australia for a couple of more days to work), only to find out that the house has been burglared (!!!Bloody Maoris, apologies for being racist but the police reckoned that who did it!!!), but my pregnancy was also confirmed.

As I took the test in the morning after the burglary, the second pink line didn't even look shy when it appeared. Brave and strong. I wasn't even surprised. It's good to be confirmed though. I took the result to Scott, who was still half asleep in bed and asked if he was awake.
I handed my result to him.

At night before I went to bed, I felt strangely attached to the person that has only been confirmed a few hours prior - and wondering how it is possible.